Thursday, September 30, 2010

Movie Idea

If they made a movie about The Ladies Man & MaGruber. Then a movie needs to be made
called The Haiku Master. He will save the world by torturing the bad guys with haiku. Also
serenading the ladies with a little haiku. So far this year, I have poked fun @ Auburn and Ole Miss, that is going to change this week-- NOT!!!

Get jiggy with it
Auburn fans,please don't do that
Luck is running out.

Pick submission designs of the week

Week 5's contenders for best designs of the week when submitting picks for the top five games. Vote for your favorite.

Submitted by DJ U-Explicit Johnson


Submitted by Robyn E.

Michigan fans holding grudge against Mallett

Live Fan Feedback: Thursday prediction line

Comments on the week from our expert panel of reporters, bankers, doctors, lawyers, ad wizards, lawn guys, bond guys, car guys, pilots, priests, principals, builders, teachers, bums, and nomads.

Continually updated throughout the day...

Randi P. -- Motivational Speaker:

Thank goodness the hogs have a break this week. They need a little time to relax and work out the kinks, shake off the upsetting loss to the #1 team in the nation and come back out swinging. I have no doubt in my mind that the ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS can move past this and tighten up the defense (even though they had a pretty excellent game Sat.), warm up the offense and let Ryan practice timing and precision in his throw, as well as get the offensive line standing strong on the ball! These are all things that I had the privilege to see a glimmer of during the early part of the game on Sat. If we can show that kind of strength, determination and talent for 2.5 quarters of a game, I know we can perform that well for all 4 quarters and be UNSTOPPABLE!!! Come on Bobby, show them the way!

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Kate D's Call:

I hope the Stanford-Oregon game is as good in real-play as it seems on paper. I know you had to include the Red River Rivalry but I am enjoying the fact that legitimately this year you can say - Who cares? Neither of these teams is an elite team. The Big 12 is big on pork and not much else. Let's give a big call - Big 12 . . . OVER-RATED!

Michigan State (what I am thinking - they needed overtime to beat Notre Dame and that is saying something... not good)

Alabama (really - 9 points. Nick Saban deserves to get beat but I don't like Urban Meyer and Florida so I will save the upset for a better team. I am still fuming that he undervalued the Razorbacks so much he basically rested Richardson and Ingram - except sporadically - until the 4th quarter. More upsetting - that he was right and Arkansas completely collapsed as always. More upsetting still - I will have to root for the "war eagle" to show Saban some humility. Oh, the humanity.)

Iowa (why - because I obviously like being wrong. Stupid black uniforms.)

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Best Regards from Big O:

Well, day one after sucessful cateract surgery and 24 hours after the doctor's warning not to make any important decisions following said procedure, I'm turning my attention to this week's selections... could this be my break away week with a perfect score? I doubt it as I always like to make my move on the backside of the fourth lap, but a little narrowing of the distance from the pack leader wouldn't be bad so I'm considering going for some of the bonus points. Having to avoid any heavy lifting (defined by the doc as over 10 pounds the first week), these are the "couch bum's" picks: 1) Oklahoma (although on a neutral field, the Longhorns still must play a superior team with a better QB, thus a no brainer); 2) Michigan State (because, although possibly really close, they are playing at home and Wisconsin is slower); 3) Florida (because little Nicky and his minions actually believe the local and national talking heads' unbeatable praises when it seemed to me the Hogs literally gave last week's game away to a quite beatable opponent, thus the omnipotents (sp?) likely believe the nine point advantage spread necessary to even the bets for and against UAT -- that's University of Alabama at Tuscaloser for the non-Alabama residents -- so I'm gambling on Florida's newly revived offense against a poor secondary and taking the bonus points); 4) Stanford (because they look to me every bit as potent offensive-wise as the Ducks who most years find at least one game, such as this one, to screw up plus the possibility of 3 bonus points tips the odds); and 5) Iowa (because after watching Joepa's inept players wilting at UAT I can't see the circumstances where I will pick them again until Joepa retires, bonus points or not). Back to my couch...this selection business takes too much effort. "War Cam Eagle", "Run Michael Run" and, most of all, "Beat Bama"!!!

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Week 5 Poem

It makes me mad that they're in it this week
But I have to pick against Texas.
It's a beautiful school where hot co-eds rule
And where you'll find some of my exes.
But not to despair, if they win I don't care.
I will drink and will celebrate life.
For in winning or losing, with all of the boozing
I will still take it out on my wife.

-- Danny K.

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Glad to see you made room for the non-ND fans this week! Wow, what a great Saturday line up! Tough picks as always. I may have to turn in my PSU windbreaker for picking Iowa this week, but I need the points and I just don't think a comeback win over Temple is the biggest confidence booster for fan and player alike. -- Bizzy G

You got me with the tease about the extra points so I did almost 90 seconds worth of study this week. Besides, have an 8:04 tee time at Hot Springs Village both Friday and Saturday with a chance to win as much as five dollars per day. Have to go work on my putting. -- Dean of Sportswriters

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Faldon's Other Five Things:

Oklahoma - Big Game Bob Stoops is 1-4 in the past five Red River Shootouts/Rivalries. OU's defense is the worst in the Big 12, but it's still good enough to stop a rebuilding Texas.

Wisconsin - I have nothing funny to say aboot Wiscahnsan.

Alabama - Based on how angry Nick Saban was following the Arkansas game, I think the Crimson Tide might win by 20.

Stanford - I'm taking Stanford as protest. A protest against what Nike has down and is continuing to do to college uniforms across the nation. No team is as reprehensible as Oregon, which gets the largesse from Nike CEO Phil Knight. Oregon's uniforms look like something you'd see in a World Bowl game ... had the NFL decided to keep losing money in Europe. The worst part? The diamond-plate design that was inspired by a trip to an auto parts store. Each time Oregon wins, fans of tradition lose. And without tradition, college football is just minor league football.

Penn State - Pierogies > high fructose corn syrup

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The Jeff G. Weekly Report:

4-1, 5-0, 3-2, 2-3 - I'm going in the wrong direction.

OU - UT looked like shizat last week and Landry has his mustache back.

MSU - gotta take the Spartans for reasons stated before. Plus I think they can beat the Cheese.

'Bama - I don’t know about that spread but I wouldn’t take UF anyway.

Stanford - I need the bonus points

Iowa - was I dreaming or was it Iowa with those throwback-type yellow helmets last week?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

College football's best five games of Week 5

It's Week 5 and there have been no bonus points in the pool yet this season! Could this be the week? Three games offer intriguing possibilities, including big games in the Big Ten, Pac-10, and a really big match-up in the SEC.

For $800 and the Ramon Escobar Trophy, the galaxy's second most prestigious trophy behind the Boonta Cup, select your winners.

AT&T Red River Rivalry
Oklahoma - Texas
2:30 p.m., Saturday, ABC/ESPN
Line: Oklahoma by 3

Wisconsin - Michigan State
2:30 p.m., Saturday, ABC/ESPN
Line: Wisconsin by 1

Florida - Alabama
7 p.m., Saturday, CBS
Line: Alabama by 9
* Underdog worth four points

Stanford - Oregon
7 p.m., Saturday, ABC/ESPN2
Line: Oregon by 7
* Underdog worth three points

Penn State - Iowa
7 p.m., Saturday, ESPN
Line: Iowa by 7
* Underdog worth three points

Good luck.
****#****

Faldon's Five Thoughts:

Things I thought about while fighting off "Black Sunday" flashbacks thanks to the Goodyear blimp.

Here.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Project Playoffs:
Week 4 standings and seedings


If all was fair and right in college football, this is what the realigned conference standings would look like in Week 4 with seedings for a 16-team playoff. (Seedings are derived from the Massey Comparison Rankings, which take every poll and computer rating into account.)

First-round match-ups:

16 NC State at 1 Alabama
15 Penn State at 2 Boise State
14 USC at 3 Florida
13 Iowa at 4 Stanford
12 Nebraska at 5 TCU
11 Auburn at 6 Ohio State
10 Oklahoma at 7 LSU
9 Arizona at 8 Oregon

Click here for a full explanation of Project Playoffs.

Southern
1 Alabama (4-0)
7 LSU (4-0)
11 Auburn (4-0)
Mississippi State (2-2)
Southern Miss (3-1)
Ole Miss (2-2)
Vanderbilt (1-2)
Tennessee (2-2)
Memphis (1-3)

Northwest
2 Boise State (3-0)
8 Oregon (4-0)
Utah (4-0)
Air Force (3-1)
Oregon State (1-2)
Fresno State (2-1)
Washington (1-2)
BYU (1-3)
Washington State (1-3)

Southeast
3 Florida (4-0)
Miami (2-1)
South Carolina (3-1)
Florida State (3-1)
Clemson (2-1)
Georgia Tech (2-2)
Georgia (1-3)
Central Florida (2-2)
South Florida (2-1)

Southwest
4 Stanford (4-0)
9 Arizona (4-0)
14 USC (4-0)
UCLA (2-2)
California (2-2)
Arizona State (2-2)
Hawaii (2-2)
UTEP (3-1)
New Mexico (0-4)

Mid-South
5 TCU (4-0)
10 Oklahoma (4-0)
Arkansas (3-1)
Oklahoma State (3-0)
Texas (3-1)
Texas A&M (3-0)
Texas Tech (2-1)
Houston (3-1)
Baylor (3-1)

Mid-North
6 Ohio State (4-0)
Michigan (4-0)
Michigan State (4-0)
Notre Dame (1-3)
Illinois (2-1)
Cincinnati (1-3)
Indiana (3-0)
Purdue (2-2)
Louisville (1-2)

Midwest
12 Nebraska (4-0)
13 Iowa (3-1)
Missouri (4-0)
Wisconsin (4-0)
Kansas State (4-0)
Colorado (2-1)
Iowa State (2-2)
Kansas (2-2)
Minnesota (1-3)

Northeast
15 Penn State (3-1)
West Virginia (3-1)
Navy (2-1)
Boston College (2-1)
Rutgers (2-1)
Pittsburgh (1-2)
Connecticut (2-2)
Army (3-1)
Syracuse (3-1)

Atlantic
16 North Carolina State (4-0)
Virginia Tech (2-2)
Kentucky (3-1)
North Carolina (1-2)
Maryland (3-1)
East Carolina (2-1)
Virginia (2-1)
Wake Forest (2-2)
Duke (1-3)

OT: Wat Tambor does "Stronger"

Live Fan Feedback: Postgame reactions

Comments on the week from our expert panel of reporters, bankers, doctors, lawyers, ad wizards, lawn guys, bond guys, car guys, pilots, priests, principals, builders, teachers, bums, and nomads.

Continually updated throughout the day...

Being of the "older generation," hardly anything you wrote means a thing to me... in the future, translations might help. My only question after last weekend's games: How on earth did anyone (including my eldest son) pick MS State over Georgia unless they had inside information as to Dawgs serving jail time last weekend? Regardless, any of us old time runners (ie, back when breaking the 4 minute mile was deemed almost impossible until a certain skinny white guy did it), fighting the mile run four times around the track encircling API's (we were Alabama Polytechnic Institute until my first second junior year) glorious field of (football) dreams and recent National Championship, striving for Intramural honors, know that the inside track in the middle of the pack is where one rests for the long haul, letting the front runners exhaust themselves in the early laps. I'll let you know (probably by picking 5 out of 5 some week) when I decide to pass some of the early, foolish sprinters. Until our next list to pick from is received, "War Cam Eagle" and keep the Dyer bowling ball's continued learning curve in place! -- Big O

I want an audit of Beranek. I mean the guy sucked last year and this year has put up almost perfect scores... something is not right in the Rock! -- Tom Van Damme

I was really pulling for Arkansas for the upset. Still very good game. Hoping FL can topple them. Hoping OSU also falls, hard. Don't think Mark Richt will last another game. Definitely not pass mid-season. Feel bad for him. -- My D.

FYI - I picked my teams in 20 seconds, one day after foot surgery, juiced up on vicodin. 5-0!! There might be something to that! -- Beth S.

Boy, am I bummed... we sucked it bad. -- Sal

Monday, September 27, 2010

Bits and Pieces, Week 4

Grumpy Gumbel

HBO’s Real Sports is brilliant television.

It has great reporters, great stories and an anchor in Bryant Gumbel, who has been around the broadcast block, and also contributes the occasional piece.

Gumbel also likes to wrap up the show Andy Rooney-style with a mini editorial. This is the real reason why I watch Real Sports.

I could watch Gumbel rip the ever-living hell out of the sports world weekly, and surely somebody has thought that would make for good teevee, but, alas, it hasn’t happened yet and probably never will. Best guess is because Gumbel’s a grumpy old bastard and has already made all the money he’ll ever need.

This is also setup for the most recent Real Sports where Gumbel took on the NCAA. And it wasn’t pretty.

Here’s the score, per Gumbel and anyone who pays attention, the NCAA doesn’t care about illegal activity by the various schools’ athletes, they just care about eligibility and really to the shame of the sports world.

As Gumbel noted, Urban Meyer has had 27 different players arrested while at Florida and the NCAA hasn’t said a word, while Georgia gets whacked with what essentially amounts to a multi-million dollar fine because one player — A.J. Greene — sold his jersey on eBay for less than a thousand bucks.

I’m not a Georgia apologist, but the four-game suspension of Greene meant three SEC losses and that took the Dawgs out of the SEC East title race, a possible BCS bowl bid and lots and lots of money.

Yet that is a fair punishment to the NCAA brain trust because why exactly?

It really doesn’t make any sense, not that the NCAA cares.

And this is what Gumbel said.

Check it out for yourself, HBO only shows Real Sports something 45 times in a month and you’ve always got the onDemand option as well.

Also noted by Gumbel, players have always had troubles, but here’s a fun fact courtesy of me — what do Ole Miss and Auburn have in common?

Answer: They both have starting quarterbacks who were arrested and left their first school for stealing laptops.

Collegiate games missed as a result — zero.

The vanilla thrilla
Arkansas and Alabama traded shots Saturday in Fayetteville and it was ‘Bama that came out ahead.

It wasn’t that the Hogs looked bad, they kept it competitive and had the lead for large chunks of the game.

As noted by online wag, if you need a quarterback to throw 300 and something meaningless yards, Ryan Mallett’s your guy.

And also noted by the Boston Globe’s brilliant Charlie Pierce, Mallett needs to learn some touch. Not every pitch has to be a fastball.

That being said, Arkansas looked good, even great at times and that means something. Figure two more losses (Auburn, South Carolina) and at 9-3 it is off the Cotton Bowl where they will demolish a hapless Texas team and Piggie fans will pop the finest champagne in all the land and the real good stuff, with the screw top.

The Heisman race
Ryan Mallett will have some serious numbers at the end of the year, but in a season that looks to have at least four better quarterbacks, he won’t make the trip to NYC as a finalist.

Boise’s Kellen Moore, Stanford’s Luck, Michigan’s stat machine Robinson and Ohio State’s Pryor should all be ahead of Mallett when the votes get counted as far as the quarterbacks go.

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 4
...as told by Skako's favorite son, Wat Tambor

Star Wars only:

After a week of hyped-up expectations for the Alabama-Arkansas game, I haven’t seen a fanbase that deflated since Nal Hutta beat Ord Mantell in nuna-ball...

In light of that Stanford beatdown, Notre Dame, winner of the pool’s skunk of the year award last season, may need to expand recruiting a few parsecs all the way to Geonosis...

After three weeks of sharing first place, looks like Lineberry is going the way of the Q7-series astromech droids...

I’m not sure what happened to the Longhorns in Austin, but I haven’t seen Sal this mad since the Trade Federation cut off the shipping route to Coruscant after the invasion of Utapau...

A lot of Catholics were going against Notre Dame on Saturday. Not since the Betrayal at Bespin in 3 ABY have this many people needed to go to confession...

0-5? Ouch, Andrew A. That’s almost as bad as when the Jedi younglings had to take the pop quiz at their academy on Yavin 4...

Steve Spurrier playing that freshman quarterback -- what was he thinking? That was the equivalent of Plo Koon sending Padawan Bultar Swan on a peace mission to the Fondor system...

South Dakota State? How about scheduling someone your own size for once, Nebraska. At this rate, you might as well schedule one of the moons of Mandalore or Gree...

Where do they get the stuff they serve at Razorback Stadium these days? The spice mines of Kessell?...

When I saw that Georgia lost to Mississippie State, I thought to myself, wow, I hope Mark Richt doesn’t end up in the same boat as Grand Admiral Thrawn.

Further thoughts on a quality loss

"There is no such thing as a moral victory." Yes, I believe this. Yet, I am surprised to find that the Arkansas loss to Alabama does not offend me, does not dismay me. My sense of the game is that two well-matched opponents met on the battlefield, were aware of the stakes, battled bravely and, at the end of the day, the better team took the victory.

So why am I at peace with this loss?

I am at peace with this loss because Arkansas is not Alabama, not Florida, not a titan, not a destroyer of worlds. We are not expected to win every game, every time. We are always anticipated to be competitive, but in most match-ups with the nationally competitive programs, we are not expected to win (except against LSU in Little Rock). But on September 25, in Fayetteville, we took the field against a team that has not lost a regular season game since 2007, and we looked every bit their rival.

We almost won. But how? And why? Not because of a series of flukey plays (an out-of-character turnover, some special-team brilliance, some inspired insanity a la Houston D. Nutt). No, this almost-win was a product of quality play - coaching, play execution, physicality, raw talent. The Hogs deserved to win. And they almost did. Almost.

Had we won, would our fans have pulled down the goalposts? I hope not. I hope we would have had the confidence to appreciate that we had beaten a worthy opponent but that there was more work to be done. Auburn remains unbeaten. LSU will be ready. And Mississippi, God bless HDN, hepped up on locker-room inspiration, they could hang 24 on us before the half. It's the way of the SEC. Beating Alabama would have been just one more rung on the ladder to the ultimate prize - repeat, indeed expected, BCS bowl appearances.

In my humble opinion, our loss to Alabama was not inevitable. Instead, it was more akin to the luck of the draw, on the one hand, and the nod to the more experienced hand at the wheel on the other. I argue that the first three quarters of the game represent what Razorback football can produce, 24-7, against any opponent. The fourth quarter? Imagine a tight-rope walker who momentarily looks down, who suddenly and overwhelmingly appreciates his humanity. We took a lead into the locker room at halftime, then built on it. We never should have looked down. We never should have counted on getting to the other side. We should have just kept going.

Where next? Redemption in Arlington. And a realization that true redemption will only come by resolving every challenge as it presents itself, game by game, play by play.

Go Hogs! Go Hogs.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Survey says:
Pick breakdown by percentage

Our expert panel sees the best five games of the week this way
(130 ballots counted):

Miami - 75 percent
Pitt - 25 percent

Alabama - 58 percent
Arkansas - 42 percent

Stanford - 67 percent
Notre Dame - 33 percent

South Carolina - 65 percent
Auburn - 35 percent

LSU - 86 percent
West Virginia - 14 percent

Live Fan Feedback: Thursday prediction line

Comments on the week from our expert panel of reporters, bankers, doctors, lawyers, ad wizards, lawn guys, bond guys, car guys, pilots, priests, principals, builders, teachers, bums, and nomads.

Continually updated throughout the day...

Beating me is about to get tough… We now have enough data to start using my 4 variable data-based selection system that I created two years ago when I almost won this damn thing… lost by one point… one measly point. Alabama losing to Utah was the killer. Messed with the algorithm last year and that was a disaster… so we’re going back to our roots baby. -- Sal

You da man giving us bonus points for picking the Hogs! -- Jimmy Page

Looks like it’d be really easy to go 0-5 this week. Though a long season, I might have to lower the bar and just focus on beating Sal. Good luck to the Hogs! What say you start putting Mountain times for the games? -- C. Fish

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From the Bench Bonus Edition:

This will be the week that takes a lot of people down because things will happen that are not expected. Those at the top have been riding the favorites. Will not happen this week, but I will not follow my own advice and go with three favorites.

Miami - I like Jacory Harris even though he is an interception king. Miami may not lose the rest of the season.

Alabama - Anyone picking Arkansas in this game is doing it with their heart. I will say that it is an intriguing matchup with two Heisman candidates. Two different styles of play. And a great receiving corps going against a great defense with athletic but inexperienced secondary. The intangible, it’s at Fayetteville, which has proven to be a difficult place for the Hogs to win a big game. The Hogs have to look at this as a road game making it improbable.

Notre Dame - Talk about conflicted. My Brain Trust has led me twice wrong on Notre Dame, picking them both times in their losses. They even told me it was a lock last week. You have whip sawed the Brain Trust. They are telling me Stanford will win. They are even saying it’s the lock of the year. So do I go with the law of averages that ND will finally win in the pool for me, or that the Brain Trust will finally get one right about ND? I am going with ND. Everyone thinks they are bad now because their record is 1-2, but reality is they are good enough and only seconds away from being undefeated -- and that’s reality not emotion. If they had been blown out, I would say they were a bad team. Plus, most don’t think about it, but the Big Ten is out to get Notre Dame, having been snubbed by them not once, not twice, but several times, so they got stuck with Nebraska.

South Carolina - Toughest game to pick. Auburn is coming off a huge emotional win against the team that has a lake on its campus. The Gamecocks also play great defense. I think they give Gus a hard time. South Carolina in a close one.

LSU - Easiest game to pick. LSU has not lost at night in the Stick since I was born. Amazingly, some will still pick West Virginia.

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College Football Pool Poem, Week 4

Two other times my heart's been right,
Picking against the Irish who fight.
I don't know if they'll win this game,
But I'm taking Stanford, not Notre Dame.

-- Danny K.

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Stanford-Notre Dame: Another ugly game between a “has been” Midwestern school vs. a bunch of smart people… we want a real football game! West Virginia-LSU: WV will get a serious beatdown. However, WV will feel right at home with all of the inbreeding that both schools offer. -- Joe C.

Using my better judgement this week, I'm not picking Arkansas. Go Raiders!! -- School of Noise

Let's look at this logically, Arkansas has not proven they can run the ball or control the clock to control the game. On the flip side, they have also not proven they can stop the run and have been prone to big plays every game. Bama can grind it out on the ground, keeping the offense off the field and then strike with a big play. So the choice is obvious -- winner = Arkansas. Stanford - Notre Dame -- Not this time Dishongh - winner = Stanford. -- David M.

I'm going with Alabama because I figure most of your contestees will be with Arkansas and I need to pick up some ground. But I will be rooting for the Hogs. - Richard B.

Don't act like you're not oddly attracted and hopeful that it does become a weekly submission. -- DJ U-Explicit Johnson

Of course, you had to put AU in the mix this week. I like USCe, but it is hard to pick against my Tigers. Good luck against uat, though I am not sure if you have enough. -- Jeff K

Alabama (Can’t go with Ar-Kansas as Mallett plays and looks like Herman Munster); Stanford (ND still smarting over that emotional loss); Auburn (Malzahn (sp) is a genius); LSU (barely wins with that anemic offense). Go Blue over Bowling Green! (For bonus points!). Denard Robinson for the Heisman. -- Mickey D

So now you have me scouring the participant list for Sean Astin, David Anspaugh, or Rob Fried... all absent from our little league. So I would submit that you are picking an ND game for the third week in a row based soley on the fact that their games have been exciting as hell to watch these past two weeks. My personal results with ND are mixed at 1-1, but I just can't imagine they're going to lose a close one again... at least not at home. So I put my faith in Touchdown Jesus. -- Bizzy G

Yay, I didn't get laid off this week but for those of us who work in the media business, it is rapidly becoming not a question of if it happens, but when it happens. I wonder if this what the buggy whip makers talked about when they looked at all the cars going by. Also of note, I see where Notre Dame will play Navy at Dublin in 2012. ROADTRIP! -- Anonymous

Pick submission designs of the week:
A study in contrast

Week 4's contenders for best designs of the week when submitting picks for the top five games. Vote for your favorite.


Submitted by, you guessed it, DJ U-Explicit Johnson

Submitted by Robyn E.

Submitted by Chris O.B.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Early Bowl Prediction

With the Ole Miss loss last week here are bowl possibilities for them.

Early prediction
No Jerry World bowl for Nutt
Shrevport or Nashville.

Five Things: Game? What game!?!

Things I thought about after wondering how Harry King (aka The Dean) makes the drive from Little Rock to Fayetteville given the dearth of good country stations betwixt the two.

Faldon's weekly blog

Live Fan Feedback: Wednesday's Vine

Comments on the week from our expert panel of reporters, bankers, doctors, lawyers, ad wizards, lawn guys, bond guys, car guys, pilots, priests, principals, builders, teachers, bums, and nomads.

Continually updated throughout the day...

Sue Everybody by Glenn B:

Arkansas over Alabama and, in shocking fashion, it will be a solid Hog performance, the game will not come down to some clutch drive or clutch play. Hogs win by a handful. Gimme the points.

Notre Dame, cut to the quick by the loss to Michigan State, defeats Stanford handily (did a quick cut-and-paste from my picks from last week)

South Carolina over Auburn - the Palmetto State will not be denied a win over Auburn two weeks in a row. And if South CArolina loses, here is a shocking pick for Week 8 of the season - Auburn loses to East Carolina in double overtime (not sure if this game is even on the schedule and I sure don't know how East Carolina relates to South Carolina).

West Virginia over LSU. Big East represents!

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I'll probably be punished for picking Standford over the Irish but I'm tired of being screwed over by Notre Dame and am taking a long overdue stand. Which of course means I just made the wrong pick. -- DJ U-Explicit Johnson

It's going to be an underdog weekend, trust me. And remember, you heard it here first! -- Amy "Take that, DeMillo" S.

You are a jackass for putting ND on it. -- From the Bench

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The Weekly Preview by Jeff Go:

For a while there last Saturday I was looking at an O’fer week, but I’ll take a 3-2.

Pitt – Not sure what to think about this one. One could argue Miami held its own against OSU in Columbus so they should win against a lesser team. But then again how many turnovers did Miami have? I think Pitt will be better tonight.

‘Bama – Typical Razorback game against higher-ranked opponent: 1) Hang tough all game against the odds; 2) make some miracle play late in the game to take the lead; 3) hold opponent on its next drive to appear to seal the victory; 4) make some bonehead, undisciplined play that gives opponent one more chance to win; 5) opponent wins. For recent examples, see Stoerner’s “Hand of God”, Reggie Fish’s muffed punt in 2006 SEC championship, home losses to Florida and Texas, etc. No reason to think Petrino will change what appears to be a genetic defect.

ND – I think Jesus has toyed with the Domers enough.

SC – I’m still not feeling Auburn. They survived the ever-choking Tigers, but I think the second South Carolina invasion will succeed.

LSU – I can’t think of any reason at all to pick WVU.

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Regards from the Big O:

Showing signs of a major comeback this year while presently leading the Davis clan because clarity of mind goes hand-in-hand with being old enough to to tee off from the Gold Tees, I select the following victors on the cow patch once glorified by the Sheriff of Mayberry with the promise that none of my selected teams "will step in it" next Saturday. And no, those weren't boos you heard last Saturday evening on the Loveliest Village of the Plains (except for ones directed at the official in the red cap who kept declaring successive media time outs thoroughly disrupting either team's efforts to get in any rhythm), but merely echos of last Saturday's "Moos" in an effort to make the Agri/Vetinarian students from Clemson feel at home at Jordan-Hare Stadium (Please tell that pretty little Gameday girl on the sideline its pronounced "Jeer'-den" not Joor'-den") before continuing the Tra-dis-sun (that's the proper Southern pronunciation) after the game, begun in 1957 when me and several hundred of my closest friends started it (no kidding, absolutely true) one Thursday night after Thanksgiving weekend out in front of Toomers Corner upon learning AP had voted us Number One... toilet paper was a lot cheaper back then. Anyway, my selections for this fourth week are as follows: 1) Pittsburgh (because neither are really good but home field advantage usually brings out the best in the steelworking union members still holding a job and drinking Iron City Beer -- incidently one of the best brews in the land); 2) Alabama, as much as I hate to pick those delusional idiots who after last year's obviously deliberate spearing of QB McCoy in the Mythical National Championship game had the audacity this week to suggest the tackle of Clemson's QB was spearing and/or deliberate when the frame-by-frame replay posted on multiple boards clearly shows our tackler had left his feet before the QB turned his back into our tackler -- but I'll be pulling for the Hogs, nevertheless, just picking with my head and not my heart); 3) Stanford (because I'm underwhelmingly impressed with the mighty ND and the bright students at Stanford will likely out scheme ND); 4) Auburn (for the first time I expect we will play four good quarters, thus continuing our domination over Spurrier regardless of whether he's in South Carolina or Florida); and 5) LSU (because they have much more talent than WV and they are playing at Death Valley at night, thus guaranteeing chilling acts of violence even before the WV team can hit the field -- even Les Miles (between the ears) can't possibly screw this one up). Sue and I are leaving Friday for another sojurn to our "village" where the real Fountain of Youth for my late '50s/early '60s brothers still secretly exists in the backyard of the Phi Kappa Tau house... I indeed perk up about 30 miles out -- just ask Trey or Sue -- for I truly love that place. Win or lose, it's still hallowed ground for our Auburn Family. War Cam Eagle and Run Dyer Run, baby!

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Fun With Aubie Jones:

Miami - Panthers are going down like the 2 Live Crew.

Alabama - I really and truly won't mind losing this pick, really.

Stanford - Even God is sick of you putting ND in this pick'em contest.

Auburn - Who else would I pick?

LSU - Tim Brando smells like corndogs, just like the Bayou Corndogs

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Faldon's Other Five Thoughts:

Miami - Coach 'Stache at Pitt can't stop the U this year.

Alabama - Tempted to take Arkansas, merely for the underdog points in the pool, but just couldn't do it. And Daly for celebrity picks on GameDay? Don't you mean washed-up golfer picks? I have yet to understand the fascination grown men have with where ESPN's GameDay goes each week. They act like teenage girls at a Justin Bieber concert (Little-known fact: Peppas hearts Bieber) when discussing GameDay. Of course, I also don't understand why Arkansas fans need to be told to wear red to a football game. Nor why a "red out" was announced for this week since, you know, Bama wears red too. I think a "tie-dye out" would be more effective. Everybody wear a tie-dye, link arms and start swaying back and forth when the visiting team has the ball. My gosh, you might make the QB have an epilectic seizure or get seasick. I'm disappointed those hippies at Cal-Berkley haven't tried this.

Notre Dame - After Michigan State's Mark Dantonio had a heart attack, do you think any coach will ever call a fake field goal in OT again? (Too soon? Probably too soon.)

South Carolina - Mal-a-zhan bashers have another reason to celebrate. He'll eventually get the last laugh ... in like 10 years.

LSU - Skunk Ape > Mothman

-

Notre damn it. Born and raised a Catholic I have endured may a loss with these boys. It has been especially hard this year. I want this new coach to do well. I believe college football is better with a great Notre Dame team in the mix. The entire BCS system is reliant on minimal disruption to their imperfect system. But ultimately I just can't but against ND - a weakness that will haunt me for years to come. -- Keith C.

I didn't think that pigsty in the northwest could reek any worse. But toss in a pile of Alabama fans and it makes Potlatch smell like spring breeze. -- Ol' Woody

I've started to go with favorites again, but how on earth is awbarn favored-wtf!?! -- Later for you, Alejandro

Notre Dame every week.... really???? WTF -- Mike O.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

College football's best five games of Week 4

I like Boise State and the way that school is shaking up the BCS, and I love the idea of ESPN taking "College GameDay" to the blue-field campus. But if Boise wants to host a GameDay, they should have to put someone on the home schedule that offers tougher competition than a 16-point underdog. (Now for a cheap plug for my plan to solve Boise's scheduling problem.) Conspiracy theories aside, GameDay should be in Fayetteville this Saturday with Big John Daly walking out at the end for the celebrity picks. Would one of his celebrity picks be Notre Dame? The people who have lost out on a 5-0 twice thanks to last-second losses by the Irish say no.

For $800 and the Ramon Escobar Trophy, which could double as a good weapon when attending a game in Baton Rouge that doesn't start until 8:15 p.m. (and can you imagine the "tailgating" that will be going on all day there?!), select your winners and e-mail them back to me by 5 p.m. Thursday.


Miami - Pittsburgh
6:45 p.m., Thursday, ESPN
Line: Miami by 3

Alabama - Arkansas
2:30 p.m., Saturday, CBS
Line: Alabama by 7
* Underdog worth three points

Battle for the Legends Trophy
Stanford - Notre Dame
2:30 p.m., Saturday, NBC
Line: Stanford by 4

South Carolina - Auburn
6:45 p.m., Saturday, ESPN
Line: Auburn by 2

West Virginia - LSU
8:15 p.m., Saturday, ESPN2
Line: LSU by 6
* Underdog worth three points


Good luck.
****#****

Project Playoffs:
Week 3 standings and seedings


Here are the Week 3 standings in realigned conferences with seedings for a 16-team playoff. Seedings are derived from the Massey Comparison Rankings, which take every poll and computer rating into account.

First-round match-ups:

16 Virginia Tech at 1 Alabama
15 Penn State at 2 Boise State
14 Utah at 3 Florida
13 Arkansas at 4 TCU
12 Arizona at 5 Texas
11 Stanford at 6 Ohio State
10 LSU at 7 Oregon
9 Oklahoma at 8 Nebraska

Click here for a full explanation of Project Playoffs.

Southern
1 Alabama (3-0)
10 LSU (3-0)
Auburn (3-0)
Mississippi State (1-2)
Tennessee (1-2)
Southern Miss (2-1)
Vanderbilt (1-2)
Ole Miss (1-2)
Memphis (1-2)

Northwest
2 Boise State (2-0)
7 Oregon (3-0)
14 Utah (3-0)
Air Force (2-1)
Fresno State (2-0)
Oregon State (1-1)
BYU (1-2)
Washington (1-2)
Washington State (1-2)

Southeast
3 Florida (3-0)
South Carolina (3-0)
Florida State (2-1)
Miami (1-1)
Georgia Tech (2-1)
Georgia (1-2)
Clemson (2-1)
South Florida (1-1)
Central Florida (2-1)

Mid-South
4 TCU (3-0)
5 Texas (3-0)
9 Oklahoma (3-0)
13 Arkansas (3-0)
Oklahoma State (3-0)
Texas Tech (2-1)
Texas A&M (3-0)
Houston (2-1)
Baylor (2-1)

Mid-North
6 Ohio State (3-0)
Michigan State (3-0)
Michigan (3-0)
Notre Dame (1-2)
Cincinnati (1-2)
Indiana (2-0)
Illinois (2-1)
Purdue (2-1)
Louisville (1-2)

Midwest
8 Nebraska (3-0)
Iowa (2-1)
Wisconsin (3-0)
Missouri (3-0)
Kansas State (3-0)
Colorado (2-1)
Iowa State (1-2)
Kansas (1-2)
Minnesota (1-2)

Southwest
11 Stanford (3-0)
12 Arizona (2-0)
USC (3-0)
California (2-1)
UCLA (1-2)
Arizona State (2-1)
Hawaii (1-2)
UTEP (2-1)
New Mexico (0-3)

Northeast
15 Penn State (2-1)
West Virginia (3-0)
Pittsburgh (1-1)
Boston College (2-0)
Rutgers (2-0)
Navy (2-1)
Connecticut (1-2)
Syracuse (2-1)
Army (2-1)

Atlantic
16 Virginia Tech (1-2)
North Carolina State (3-0)
Kentucky (3-0)
North Carolina (0-2)
East Carolina (2-1)
Wake Forest (2-1)
Virginia (1-1)
Maryland (2-1)
Duke (1-2)

Monday, September 20, 2010

NC A&T: Already marching band of the year

Playing the Gregory Brothers at halftime. Boy does this make certain marching bands that will go unnamed look totally lame.




What song are they playing? If you don't know, you better ask somebody...



Ramon's Escoblog: Week 3

Dedicated to all Jeeps and Land Cruisers... When Gene Chizik said Auburn’s win over Clemson was “a God thing,” it confirmed something I’ve known all along: Clemson football is the work of the devil... Maybe it’s because Pastor Floyd put a blessing on them when they hired Malzahn, but the school named after a hair coloring product sure is getting more luck than the religious school that lost after a fake field goal snapped with 00 on the play clock... If you’re one of the 13 with a 5-0, consider yourself fortunate after two overtime games and a last-second finish this week, which brings the total to three overtimes in three weeks. Let’s go for four!... I don’t know who the Third Man in the booth was for the Arkansas-Georgia game, but he needed to make like Orson Welles and disappear... Lineberry and Beranek maintain their tie for first after both picked up only their first loss of the season. The competition between them hasn’t been this tight since they fought over the chair to sit behind that girl in film lecture... Of all the announcers calling the games in primetime, there is still only one Mr. Saturday Night: Ron Franklin... Stehlbread, for years you have been calling the Hogs. Now Jeff Long is waiting for you to answer the call. So please take your kids out of Our Lady of Perpetual Help so they can get that new weight room to show to recruits... Source: Kevin Kilpatrick will be asked to return his 2003 Ramon Escobar Trophy for accepting money from an agent to become the on-hold voice of Pizza Hut WingStreet. Call your local Pizza Hut for the evidence... I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more Twitter posts about soybeans from Vratsinas... Quote of the week: “He reminds me of a young Elvis.” -- former SEC three-point king Pat Bradley talking on 103.7 about Doug Virden’s karaoke skills… Brendan O. is continuing his tradition of not picking Arkansas games in the pool, so everyone should be thanking him for Saturday's win... When it comes to rolling paper for cowboys, it's Discount Records 1, iTunes 0.

Live Fan Feedback: Postgame

Comments on the week from our expert panel of reporters, bankers, doctors, lawyers, ad wizards, lawn guys, bond guys, car guys, pilots, priests, principals, builders, teachers, bums, and nomads.

Continually updated throughout the day...

3-2 is ok, but 1-0 on clemson games is worth so much more. -- Robb O.

I assumed this was like a good restaurant - eat a great meal and pay for the dining experience upon completion. Instead, you're like a cheap prositute - cash in hand before any potential happy ending. -- Keith C.

See, they screw me again. First Arkansas pulls the Jersey Boy Beranek back then this.... My whole year is screwed up. -- Van Damme

When is 2-3 really 5-0? When Vandy beats Ole Miss 28-14. -- Geoff H.

God clearly hates us Catholics. -- DJ U-Explicit Johnson

Note to self... Georgia always disappoints. -- Hook 'em Sal

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Bits and Pieces, Week 3

Arkansas says something, something

Mike Bobo is no relation to the famous Bobo clan from Atkins.

We think.

Or maybe he is and that would explain his dreadful play calling late in the fourth quarter, or maybe Bobo is a degenerate gambler and had money on the Dawgs to lose. Or maybe he was still woozy from a pregame head butt with a helmeted player that left a gash and blood trickling down his nose.

Regardless of the real or imagined reason, Bobo, a Georgia lifer, is likely out of a job at the end of the season simply based on that third down call late in the fourth quarter when the game was knotted up at 24-24.

Needing roughly four yards to get the first down, with the game on the line and a shaky freshman quarterback, Bobo, instead of drawing up a play to get the first, sent three wideouts deep and not a single player as a safety valve in the route.

The quarterback drops back and then gets de-helmeted by a flying Jake Bequette and it is fourth down, with Georgia now playing for overtime.

Instead, as called by ESPN, Ryan Mallett made a Heisman statement and sent one deep to Greg Childs, which lead to a touchdown and a thousand Arkansas fans lighting up their Facebook pages with "Childs Please."

Georgia was left thinking what "child please" actually means as envisioned by Chad Ochocinco, hilarious on FX's "The League" last week, and wondering what else could go wrong before their two, maybe three, best offensive players were back for the rest of the season.

Arkansas fans, which never see the bad with the good, were left overjoyed with Bobby Petrino's second SEC road win and is now an impressive 6-11 in the conference while at Arkansas.

Let's go with the bad and good before getting to No. 1 Alabama coming to town in a week.

  • In the first half, the punter was the team's leading rusher with five yards on one bad snap of punt, turned into a carry.
  • The rushing game couldn't get anything going, period, and the starting tailback was in negative yards for the game.
  • The defensive line could have been rung up for about half a dozen offside penalties, if Georgia's center had just simply snapped the ball. Georgia obviously coached the center not to snap as to not put any more pressure on that freshman quarterback, but other schools won't be so kind.
  • The linebackers over pursued on rushing attempts that a decent tailback would have exploited.
  • The secondary gave up huge plays in obvious passing situations when Georgia rallied in the fourth quarter to tie it up.
  • Arkansas couldn't sustain a drive and the scoring efforts were the result of big plays made because of blown coverage

On to the good:

  • Mallett made some huge plays, and especially when his team needed them.
  • The special teams are clearly improving with clutch punts and field goals made, and one dazzling punt return for a touchdown that was called back because of a penalty.
  • The defense kept Arkansas in the game when it mattered.

Now Alabama is rolling in and as memory serves, this will be one of the rare times a No. 1 team has played in Fayetteville. The hype for this game will be immense and it will truly be on the national stage with CBS making it the 2:30 p.m. kick on Saturday.

For Arkansas to be competitive, the Hogs will need a running back to step up and have at least 100 yards rushing and the team in 140 to 160 range. Mallett will need to roll up yards and touchdowns and the defense will simply have to play better.

The odds makers didn't think Arkansas would beat Georgia and an early suspicion is that they won't think the Hogs can beat Alabama either. A seven point favorite would be one early guess.

If you're going, best that you already have tickets, because this will be one of those times, you won't be able to score some in the parking lot.

Luck of the draw

For the Poolsville players, a shaky 3-2 here, mostly on the strength of two overtime wins. It just as easily could have been 1-4 with Texas the only sure winner in a miserable selection of inconsistent performers and were mostly looking at Clemson here.

Going Nutt-y on the Hill

It seems most Arkansas fans are only complete when the Razorbacks win and Houston Nutt takes one on the chin.

The level of obsession makes even stalkers think it is a little bit weird.

Yes, Ole Miss lost to Vanderbilt on Saturday. The fourth win in six tries, by the way, and here's the thing. If SEC fanbois want to make the argument that the league is the strongest in the country, doesn't it mean that any school can beat any other school on any given Sunday?

So shouldn't a win by a Vanderbilt, or a Kentucky or any other school be expected when they beat a favored opponent in the conference?

The level of cognitive dissonance on this one is astonishing, even for the SEC fanbois. For the Arkansas fanbois, who are still remarkably ignorant on most things SEC even after 18 years, it is taken up to a completely different level. Of course that ignorance seems to be largely of the willful variety.

God is still a Notre Dame fan

Michigan State beat Notre Dame on one of the gutsiest calls of the year, a fake field goal on fourth down and in overtime against the Irish. It led to a touchdown and a wild celebration by the Sparty faithful.

On Sunday, Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio had a heart attack and emergency surgery to fix the problem. He might miss the rest of the season or maybe not. These things, as in the case of Urban Meyer, tend to be fluid.

It would be easy to go with the cheap joke here. Something like God being a Notre Dame fan and we note that we already have, but on a more serious note, calls like Dantonio's are a rare thing and nothing but healthy wishes here.

Around the country

  • Iowa lacks the heart of a decent junior high team.
  • ESPN is going to ramp up the noise machine for Boise-Oregon State on Saturday, despite better games being out there, but those games aren't broadcast on the ABC/ESPN family of networks. Ah, corporate synergy.
  • I love my girlfriend. (She reads the blog, so "Hi, Honey." *waves*) We started watching football at 11 a.m. Saturday and didn't stop until more than 12 hours later and it was all her idea to watch all those games.
  • While the hate for Comcast runs deep, all but Stanford was in crystal clear HD as the dreaded cable company has something like a dozen of hi def sports channels.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Live Fan Feedback: Friday style

Comments on the week from our expert panel of reporters, bankers, doctors, lawyers, ad wizards, lawn guys, bond guys, car guys, pilots, priests, principals, builders, teachers, bums, and nomads.

Continually updated throughout the day...

Jeff G.'s weekly analysis:

UGa - Petrino has yet to prove he can win on the road and Richt is a better coach.

Clemson - I think Clemson is for real this year - jinx.

Texas - you should poll all the participants and tell Sullivan how many of us picked UT v TT.

MSU - in-laws from E Lansing and Spartan season ticket holders plus my ND hate (not satiated by the UM loss) = easy pick for me. Now they just need to not choke like 4 years ago. Yes, I remember that far back.

Arizona - when in doubt, take the underdog at home.

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From the Bench Bonus Edition:

Arkansas - My gut says Georgia, but I am going with the brain trust on this one because the last two weeks when I go away from them I have lost. The two guys on the brain trust that are not Hog fans say the Hogs.

Auburn - Have you heard the joke that the only difference between Clemson and Auburn is a lake? It always gets me. It's funny because it's true.

Texas - I am not sure why this game is even close on the spread. Texas owns Tech. I think Tech will also just throw the game since Texas allowed Tech to stay with them in the Big 12 as homage to them.

Notre Dame - I swore after last week that I would never pick Notre Dame again no matter the circumstance. I have never picked Notre Dame in this pickem and have them win. My brain trust tells me otherwise. They feel it's a lock. They don't believe State has the same speed as Michigan to exploit the slow Irish defense. They also don't believe Brian Kelly will lose two in a row.

Iowa - This is by far the toughest pick of the week. Coin toss says Iowa. Brian trust was scared to commit, but leaned toward Iowa.

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Week 3 Poem:

The football weekend is finally here
So I tell my wife to grab me a beer
On her way back to the den from taking a pee
As I make some predictions of things we will see.
We'll see Texas put it to the stupid Red Raiders
Then flip off the camera to all of their haters.
The Cougars shoot it out with UCLA
Because their defense cannot make a play.
Little Rock Central will lose it again.
Still looking for that one elusive win.
Ryan Mallett will not strike his Heisman pose.
And Erin Andrews will iron her clothes.

-- Danny K.

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Michigan State -Please don’t torture us with Midwestern football. All of the teams are terrible. -- Joe C.

I've given up on trying to counteract his submissions... they're in a league of their own. At this point, I'd almost be happy if he went back to using sexist, big busted women in hot pants compared to the last two entries. -- Robyn E.

Just can't do Arkansas again this year. They've burned me too many times in the past. -- Tom Van Damme

Let's see James Madison, signed Declaration of Independence (check), 3rd Pez (check) and most importantly giving VT the "what, what" in the pig skin smack down. -- My D.

Georgia... I hope Petrino re-educates me, but for the past 30 years we lose this game 9 of 10 times...ugh. Iowaa... I hate even typing that - thanks for nothing! -- Alejandro O.

Arkansas -- Yeah, it's a heart pick, but I'm a Bills fan, I have to have something. -- Dave M.

I mean what are the chances of finding a picture of a meerkat making 2010 Week 3 college football picks WHILE getting a BJ? -- DJ U-Explicit Johnson

Arkansas on the road

Click this image to get the full view.




— Courtesy Ampersand Design & Technology

Funny ESPN GameDay signs

Here are a few from the past that I think are funny. Please add more in the comments.

"Lou Holth ith a penith"

"Tim Brando smells like corndogs"

"OJ stole my other sign"

"Hey Kirk, the SEC voted and it's Vandy's turn to beat Ohio State in a bowl game"

"Corso is my baby daddy"

"Spurrier, once a Gator, always a Cock"

"Masoli for Heistman"

"Say no to Quack"

"Kanye likes Beyonce's sign better"

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Larry Brannan's Arkansas
Sneaking in an LR Razorback game:
An old school primer

When the sheaf of pages came in the fancy booklet from the athletic czar of many titles, it just seemed so....well, complicated. I remember simpler times when my Razorback (I'm assuming we can still use that word without getting sued) tickets just came in a nice, pouchy envelope with a thank you letter and a schedule magnet. I miss my magnet.

Thumbing through all the propaganda in the spiral-bound notebook, I couldn't help but think if the current fleecing, er Hog Call campaign or whatever the heck it's called, was paying for this overkill of stats, charts, and glossy paper. And I suppose the out-of-state bunch that now oversees all the propaganda campaigns has to keep busy to justify its pork.

When I finally got to my Little Rock season ticket pages (I don't go to Fayetteville any more unless someone comps me) and I slowly began edging my tickets from the perforations, I just couldn't help but think of some of the most glorious Hog games of all. The ones where no ticket was required. The ones where players like Alworth, Hatfield, Phillips, Crockett, Harry Jones, and Burnett roamed the War Memorial turf when it meant something. REALLY meant something.

For a young boy with no money, tickets were no problem. I didn't need to tear them out of a fancy binder. If I wanted to see my heroes play, and I did in the worst way, all it took was the guts to sneak in. I was not alone. There was a whole posse of us and here is how we did it.

Actually there were any number of techniques we Jr. high and high school sneakologists mastered over the years. This was the easiest and most dangerous.

Inside the fence on the north end was a rickety concession stand with a metal roof. I learned early that if you wanted to go over the top with the big boys, and I did, you had to be quick and nimble. Also vigilant for the men in blue. It's amazing what you can get by with when there's a huge crowd. Everyone is in a hurry, drunk, or don't care. And we took advantage of all of that.

Climbing the outside fence in waves at the chosen moment, we would ascend to the top of the concession stand where our footsteps would ricochet loudly off the tin roof and then the dangerous part. I'm not sure how high it was, but once you were on-top, the only way down was to jump off. That's when you were most vulnerable. If you stumbled or fell you were like a crippled animal out in the open, exposing yourself at any second to the vice-grip around your neck from security. I never fell.

Once on the ground, the mad scramble was on to slide down the hill under the end zone seats. Once we made it down the gap under the seats, we helped ourselves to the view at the bottom, peering out from the first row of seats in the end zone for the duration. There was just enough room to sit there. We were part of the atmosphere and really no one cared, except "Red."

Red was a cross between Popeye and one of those bar characters from the first Star Wars film. He was short, ugly and pissed-off a lot. And yes he had red hair. His job was to run us off. He tried, but never succeeded.

We had organization and youth on our side. Plus we were all athletes. When a look-out spied him coming all we did was run up under the seats like rats. He couldn't catch us, and plus he wasn't about to go up under there. We knew it and he knew it, but the game never stopped.

One night Red got too close for comfort. He had this pink skin and his eyes were always glaring and bulging as he would stomp our way. This night as he was cussing us and we scurried back in our hole, he flung something. It was a piece of metal. I will never forget it, and it hit Ricky King. Ricky's nickname was "Hoocho". He wasn't a big guy, but he was tough. It really didn't hurt Ricky, except his pride, and to all our astonishment he came out and confronted the little sawed-off demon jaw-to-jaw. Red backed off.

You know if you really, really think about that kind of stuff today, it almost seems impossible but besides Red and the cops, no one really cared back then. And all the cops would do was toss you out and in a little while, if you were a master, back in you'd go. At the recent Little Rock game I looked fondly down at those spaces under the end zone seats. Now there are barricades there. No way is any kid going to steal one second of precious Razorback game time without paying. REALLY paying.

Probably the most daring sneak-in technique was also the boldest. You had to pick the right dupe. A fatherly type with no kids about to get in line, and then slide-in right in front of him. As you approached the turnstile, your timing had to be prefect. As you pushed forward through the revolving arm, you simply said with a smile and a slight gesture back, "He's got them." Once the ticket-taker shifted his gaze and you cleared the arm, boom.....you were gone in an instant, running as fast as you could to your safe haven under the bleachers. There was no way the ticket-taker could chase you and leave his post. Not with hose rabid fans busting the turnstile to get in.

His call of "Hey come back here!", was laughable as you scurried away successful in your scheme. A determined and driven no-holds scheme to join your fellow crew under the seats to perhaps watch the defending national champions play. Or see a great football game against Standford, Southern Cal or Texas from our on-field perch. The ones we lost still hurt. Funny they don't hurt like that any more.

Did I say I missed my magnet?

Tailgate Central

Since people crowded the War Memorial golf course last Saturday, its only fitting I include it with this weeks haiku.

War Memorial
Best tailgating spot around
Party was Rockin'.

Pick submission designs of the week

Week 3's contenders for best designs of the week when submitting picks for the top five games. Vote for your favorite.

Submitted by DJ U-Explicit Johnson

Submitted by SHM III

Submitted by Robyn E.

Live Fan Feedback for the Thursday

Comments on the week from our expert panel of reporters, bankers, doctors, lawyers, ad wizards, lawn guys, bond guys, car guys, pilots, priests, principals, builders, teachers, bums, and nomads.

Continually updated throughout the day...

It pains me to do this because I'm not doing that awful this year, but I'm going to continue my tradition of not picking Arkansas games. -- Brendan O.

Clemson... damn you! Auburn - err Clemson - no, wait Auburn. damn - Auburn - final answer. -- Robb O.

UGA's got nuthin, I just can't see them winning that game... D is clueless and O-Line which was supposed to be so good is only average. I think another shootout, but y'all win by 10. - Jeff K.

I appreciate not being reported for picking Michigan State. I would hate to be excommunicated. -- Chris B.

Ok, I read through all the names on this e-mail, twice... searching and searching, but never finding Dan Ruettiger's name on the Poolsville participants roster. So for the life of me I can't figure out how ND made it into the picks back to back weeks! -- Bizzy G

I have it on good authority that Michael Dyer is starting this week vs Clemson. So, I expect him to get a bunch of carries. -- Aubie Jones

5-0 right? If i were you, I'd just copy my selections for your entry card. -- DJ Jazzy Josh

Moment of Truth: the dice come up snake eyes, and the house wins. I am going with Auburn even though it is lame to have your mascot be the Auburn tiger and still use the "war eagle" before your games - two checks for lame. Well, really. They are so special that they get two mascots. It is like playing with a 4 year old who says they get to have all the superpowers instead of just picking one. For the 4 year old, that is smart thinking. For grown-ups, lame. From now on, I would like the UA to be referred to as both Razorbacks and "War Pterodactyls". We get you from the ground and the sky. And now some big announcement about injury or suspension can come since my picks are in and there are no take backs. -- Kazoo

I don't know if you think the pool would be interested, but I'm working on a show called "Big Ten Icons" that starts airing this Saturday on the Big Ten Network. It's a series documenting the top 20 athletes in Big Ten history. Not just football but all sports. I just finished number 19 and will finish 17 in a week or so. I don't know how many more I'll work on but college sports fans will dig it and the series runs through January or February. -- John R.

Arky (not sure why UGA is favored here, Arky should be favored by 7, even on the road). Texas (lines seems a little light). Notre Dame (I hate to pick them, but I haven't seen MSU play yet). Iowa (another line that seems a bit off). See, no cracks this week either about Arky, even giving them props... of course, we all know that will change in a few weeks. -- Jeff K.

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Sue Everybody by Glenn B.:

Arkansas does everything it can do lose at Georgia but is thwarted in the end by Georgia's even greater self-destructive tendencies. This game will make last season's Liberty Bowl look like a well-played game in comparison.

Clemson was originally named the University of Clem. Unhappy with the name, the school hired consultants to help them come up with a better name and "Clemson" was the winner. The kicker was the special meaning which the consultants attributed to the added -S-, -O- and -N-: spirit, honor and knowledge (the consultants were not strong spellers). Clemson over Aubrun, bonus points for me.

Texas beats Texas Tech; it is too early in the season for Tulane's former head coach to lose a conference matchup.

Notre Dame, cut to the quick by the home loss to Michigan, defeats Michigan State handily.

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Can't waste more energy on these. Have to be at a mental peak, ready to give 110 percent (which is impossible, of course) in Athens. Believe coaches and athletes call it "stepping up." -- Dean of Arkansas Sportswriters

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Come on man. I made these picks by rolling some dice like Mr. Mor-an...

Grew up as an Arkan-san, so gotta roll with Ry-an (Mallett).

Spent four years as a Tex-an, but not that tea sippin' kind, the ones in Aggie-land.

Clem-san can't fondle the Rock on the stand, so gotta go with the team from Auburn, Ala-bam.

Fightin' Lepre-chans from Ire-land gonna go down to the Spar-tans of Michi-gan (State).

With a veter-an QB in Ricky Stan(zi) and a running man named Ad-am (Robinson), you gotta like the Iow-ans.

Respectfully submitted by Man Hat-tan

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Regards from the Big O:

Without restating my earlier rejoinder to your observation about the magnificent AU victory on the road against an SEC opponent, I must acknowledge that I departed (gravely misguided) from my promise to select teams based upon logic, et al, rather than gut/heart based, when I unfortunately hoped that Joepa's minions could over power the mighty 'lil Nickies... I was wrong and could easily have had a 4-1 last weekend. Anyway, leaving my spilt milk behind I posit the following choices as I prepare to depart tomorrow morning on my way to attend the Tigers' victory (guaranteed since we're both Tigers) Saturday evening at the loveliest village of the plains: 1) Arkansas (yes, I picked the Hogs because they appeared better, even against lesser competition, than the eastern bow wows); 2) Auburn (of course, coupled with we're the better, more tested team playing at home with ESPN Game Day for incentive); 3) Texas (the probably better team, although Tommy's Red Raiders may surprise at home based upon Tub's penchant for wupping up on highly ranked favorites); 4) Michigan State (because the Spartans' Greek warrior is more menacing than the Leprechaun and I haven't been impressed with the Irish's speed); 5) Iowa (because the Big Ten, despite its thick legged slowness is more reliable than any Pac 10 Goldwater Country team no matter what their respective early ratings). Well, time to pack, eat the last of my birthday cake - yes, I'm a young three-and-a-half score geezer - and get my "all-blue" mindset. Ta Ta (hope our 285 pound H Back/Tailback called "Da Da" is over his ankle injury by mid-October's date with the Hogs) and "War Cam Eagle!"

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Fun with Aubie Jones:

Arkansas - If Arkansas doesn't win against this Georgia team, they are not very good.

Auburn - of course.

Texas Tech - In Tubby's first years at Ole Miss and Auburn, he had bad teams but always seemed to upset a team or two, he will do that this year as well, hopefully this game.

Notre Dame - WTH? We're sick of picking ND games, and their stupid khaki helmets are ridiculous.

Iowa - I don't know who this team is but I'm picking them hoping they'll get lucky, why the heck would you not choose the Neb - Washington game??

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Iowa - Really, Nebraska routed Arizona by 30 points last year in the Holiday Bowl. -- Husker Do

They wanted it back from O.J., but he had already taken it to the guys of "Pawn Stars." -- Mitchell G.

TxTech over Texas: The Gambler always wins one at home he shouldn't. -- Lee D.

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Faldon's Other Five Thoughts:

Arkansas — If only to set up a Top 10 battle the following week in Fayetteville. Luckily, Maxine's Tap Room (after 60-plus years of having only beer) has been approved for liquor sales to ease the pain of losing that game. Damn, I've now tipped my hand for next week! Curses!

Auburn — Clemson in the Pool should really be outlawed. And according to the Poolsville Stylebook, it's "Mal-a-zhan."

Texas - Battle for the Chancellor's Spurs!?! Only in Tejas would they come up with something as silly as spurs for a rivalry trophy. The Football Gods weep at such lamosity.

Notre Dame - Battle of the Megaphone!?! I humbly submit my apologies to Texas and Texas Tech.

Iowa - Corn-fed > cactus-bred

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Project Playoffs:
Week 2 standings and seedings


Nebraska fans have been recently whining that Boise State wanted $1 million to play in Lincoln after Nebraska offered a two-for-one deal to the Boise athletic department. The crying about $1 million is really lame considering that these major programs regularly pay the Sisters of the Poor $700,000-plus to come to their home stadium and take a beating. So the next time a Nebraska fan boasts that Boise State wouldn't come to Lincoln, remind them that it was actually Nebraska that wouldn't agree to the terms -- not Boise. And why is Nebraska scared to play on the blue turf more than just once? No matter, Nebraska and its fans would be forced to visit Boise, Idaho, for a first-round playoff game as of the Week 2 standings. How great would that be?

Here are the Week 2 standings in realigned conferences with seedings for a 16-team playoff. Seedings are derived from the Massey Comparison Rankings, which take every poll and computer rating into account.

First-round match-ups:

16 Virginia Tech at 1 Alabama
15 Penn State at 2 Ohio State
14 South Carolina at 3 Oregon
13 Utah at 4 Florida
12 Stanford at 5 TCU
11 Nebraska at 6 Boise State
10 LSU at 7 Texas
9 Iowa at 8 Oklahoma

Click here for a full explanation of Project Playoffs.

Southern
1 Alabama (2-0)
10 LSU (2-0)
Auburn (2-0)
Mississippi State (1-1)
Tennessee (1-1)
Ole Miss (1-1)
Southern Miss (1-1)
Vanderbilt (0-2)
Memphis (0-2)

Mid-North
2 Ohio State (2-0)
Michigan (2-0)
Michigan State (2-0)
Cincinnati (1-1)
Notre Dame (1-1)
Illinois (1-1)
Purdue (1-1)
Indiana (1-0)
Louisville (1-1)

Northwest
3 Oregon (2-0)
6 Boise State (1-0)
13 Utah (2-0)
Air Force (2-0)
Oregon State (0-1)
BYU (1-1)
Fresno State (1-0)
Washington (1-1)
Washington State (1-1)

Southeast
4 Florida (2-0)
14 South Carolina (2-0)
Miami (1-1)
Georgia (1-1)
Clemson (2-0)
Georgia Tech (1-1)
Florida State (1-1)
South Florida (1-1)
Central Florida (1-1)

Mid-South
5 TCU (2-0)
7 Texas (2-0)
8 Oklahoma (2-0)
Texas Tech (2-0)
Arkansas (2-0)
Oklahoma State (2-0)
Texas A&M (2-0)
Houston (2-0)
Baylor (2-0)

Midwest
9 Iowa (2-0)
11 Nebraska (2-0)
Wisconsin (2-0)
Missouri (2-0)
Kansas State (2-0)
Kansas (1-1)
Iowa State (1-1)
Colorado (1-1)
Minnesota (1-1)

Southwest
12 Stanford (2-0)
California (2-0)
Arizona (2-0)
USC (2-0)
Arizona State (2-0)
UCLA (0-2)
Hawaii (1-1)
UTEP (1-1)
New Mexico (0-2)

Northeast
15 Penn State (1-1)
Pittsburgh (1-1)
West Virginia (2-0)
Boston College (2-0)
Rutgers (2-0)
Connecticut (1-1)
Navy (1-1)
Syracuse (1-1)
Army (1-1)

Atlantic
16 Virginia Tech (0-2)
North Carolina (0-1)
Kentucky (2-0)
North Carolina State (2-0)
Wake Forest (2-0)
East Carolina (2-0)
Maryland (2-0)
Virginia (1-1)
Duke (1-1)

College football's best five games of Week 3

And now for the Moment of Truth Saturday. After a relatively easy first two weeks, Week 3 looks to present more of a challenge and is one of the rare times when most of the pool's largest and most vocal contingents are represented -- even Vratsinas's Iowa Hawkeyes. It's a moment of truth for all the 2-0 teams to see if they are for real, and it's a moment of truth for the one-loss teams already looking to salvage the season. Is Arkansas the lock fans have been saying they are and will they give Amy S. the chance to say "Take that, DeMillo," or will those who have the strategy of picking against Arkansas get the bigger swing in the standings from a Hog loss because of so many Razorback fans in the pool? Then there's the curious case of Auburn. Typically when I would throw out a crack about points scored against Mississippi State, I would get several protests from the Auburn people. This week, crickets. Have they lost confidence in Malzahn already?

Oh yeah, and most importantly, this week's five includes Clemson as a bonus-point team! (Insert maniacal laugh here.) Roll the dice, brother. Then select your winners and e-mail them back to me by 5 p.m. Friday. As Brother Rufus J. Hogg would say, Hogalueah!

Arkansas - Georgia
11 a.m., Saturday, ESPN
Line: Georgia by 2

Clemson - Auburn
6 p.m., Saturday, ESPN
Line: Auburn by 7
* Underdog worth three points

Battle for the Chancellor's Spurs
Texas - Texas Tech
7 p.m., Saturday, ABC/ESPN2
Line: Texas by 3

Battle for the Megaphone
Notre Dame - Michigan State
7 p.m., Saturday, ABC/ESPN2
Line: Michigan State by 3

Iowa - Arizona
9:30 p.m., Saturday, ESPN
Line: Iowa by 1

Good luck.
****/"\****

Faldon's Five Thoughts

If it's Wednesday, I'm blogging ... per Matt's orders!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 2

What's my new gimmick for Week 2? Come on, man!... Not wearing the fluorescent green jerseys to annoyingly contrast with Vol orange? Come on, Ore-gan... Scoring only 17 against Mississippi State? Come on, Mal-a-zahn... Lineberry and Beranek putting it on everybody with a 10-0 so far? Come on, (former residents of) Yo-cam... Ruining the weekend for Notre Dame fans across the country? Come on, Michi-gan... Mr. Steve Wells sitting at the bottom of the standings? Come on, new syst-am... This new stadium intro video that only shows highlights from last year's Razorbacks? Come on, (bring back the) tradi-shan... Ralphie having to sit through a program on the brink of obscurity? Come on, (Dan and Cody) Hawk-ans... The bleachers in Section 4, Row 57, still broken after 12 years? Come on, (War Memorial) Sta-diam... Claiming I haphazardly left you off the list when I sent you three invitation reminders and never got a response to enter the pool? Come on, Sulli-van... Reggie Bush? What about friggin' O.J.??? Come on, Heis-man... Harassing me all Monday morning about sending out the standings? Come on, (Brad and) Jan(is)... O'Brien resorting to milk of magnesia the night before a Razorback game? Come on, bran... Taking the pick submission design contest in this direction? Come on, Rob-an... Sleeping during Word Wealth? Come on, William Gran... Got your own? Send it and I will post them on Poolsville. Come on, (Noel) O-man!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Bits and Pieces, Week 2


Ho HU(l)M


Arkansas won and looked absolutely average Saturday night. For a team that some would like to think is a darkhorse contender for the national title, one touchdown in the first half against the Fighting Bubby Brister's isn't going to get it done.


Sure, the final score looks good and Ryan Mallett had the numbers, again, to impress but as we were watching it, the cunning genius of ULM d-c Umm, ol' what's his name, had the Razorbacks offense on the ropes with a 3-3-5 scheme.


It wasn't just that, the Brister's were actually running a two-deep with help in the flats and no deep help, or at least that's what I could tell from watching it on Fox Sports South.


Not to go off into football jibberish, but that's pretty daring for a team playing a quarterback like Mallett and a clue that ULM took this game more seriously as a tune-up than the Piggies.


Pounding a meme
Fox Sports wouldn't shut up about how Arkansas was going to establish its power running game. The state-wide daily wrote the same thing. (Maybe they shared notes?)


Yeah, that didn't work out so well.


For all of Broderick Green's 250 pounds, he sure can't get one yard when Arkansas needs it.


And who is playing fullback?


Four players deep at tailback and not a single consistent player in the bunch, the lack of a pound it running game is going to cost Arkansas at least two games this season.


For all the flash and sizzle of a consistent 400-yard passer, you need at least one decent back or the defense keys on the quarterback and the offense goes into the dumpster.


James Madison, a great patriot
James Madison University beat Virginia Tech on Saturday. By five points in miserable conditions and the Hokies were going on five days rest.


No excuses, but a really good I-AA usually makes it interesting when they play a big-name I-A. Best example is Appy State taking down Michigan or, more recently, Jacksonville State beating Ole Miss.


It happens.


More pressing is the ripple effect on a team like Boise State and its chances for playing in the national title game. The voting coaches are already looking for any reason to drop Boise in the polls and this is a reason.


The Hokies might roll to 10-2 and the ACC's automatic qualifier but it won't matter for the Boise haters.


Strap one on
So what's up with all the flying helmets?


No, seriously.


Watching a full day of college football on Saturday and it was raining helmets. They still use chin straps, or at least it looks like they do.


It used to be that when you'd put your helmet on, an equipment guy would stick an air pump in and inflate the cushioning to create a custom fit. But that doesn't seem like it is happening with all the helmets flying off.


It might be some concussion thing, a way to prevent head injuries, but that seems counter intuitive watching guys make tackles with no helmet on.


Around the country
4 Meechigan used an improbable game from its quarterback to beat Notre Dame. Guy rolled up 502 yards of total offense.


4 The ACC is one of the best six leagues in the country, right? All that happened on Saturday was its four best teams got their asses handed to them by college football teams of all stripes. Maybe North Carolina can still save, oh never mind. The Tar Heels are angling for the death penalty instead of being a good football team.


4 Georgia rebounds to its loss to South Carolina by shutting down Mallett and the Hogs next week in Athens as the Dawgs run and run to 1 and 1 in the SEC.


4 Stanford looked pretty awesome against UCLA in the late game. And Oregon made Tennessee look a little silly once the Ducks got used to playing in the water, I mean rain.


Fan feedback fast
From the Facebook, Saturday night:
"A win is a win." – Poolsville regular Brendan Oman on Arkansas beating ULM


"Ain't no way we beat GA next week. Defense just ain't strong enough! I hope I'm wrong…." – Poolsville reader and dedicated Hog fan Kevin Benson, who doubles as an ace caterer and trust me, his meat is delicious