Ramon's Escoblog: Week 3

The Awesome Meter:
Rating the Awesomeness of Football Weekend

O'Brien goes 5-0 to shoot up to a tie for second place (Rating: 4 -- Bayani brothers blasting "Atomic Dog" in Celica)... Robb O pledges to print "DYC" T-shirts after getting burned yet again by Clemson (Rating: 4 -- Hammerin Hank et cetera)... Oklahoma continues to prove to be absolute money in the pool during the regular season (Rating: 1 -- Tiger, Lance, Vick, LeBron)... No endangered species get injured at Auburn game this week (Rating: 3 -- Offenses run by guys in visors)... DJ U, Sir Thomas, Porkchop Butler, and Faldon's Five Thoughts jump in top group with 5-0s (Rating: 4 -- Cupid Shuffle)... SEC team gets beat by Vanderbilt (Rating: 1 -- Craigslist ad for Ole Miss bagman)... SEC team gets outgained by Sun Belt school (Rating: 2 -- Artificial turf in SEC)... Daly accepts challenge to beat leader Big O by flipping a coin every week (Rating: 4 -- Giorgio Chinaglia, 1978)... Big 12 and Big East schools defecting to add to conference realignment craziness (Rating: 2 -- Swanton Bomb or Rating: 5 -- Project Playoffs)... Condoleezza Rice claims hole in one at golf course prior to taking in Notre Dame game (Rating: 1 -- WMDs).

King's Things

Larry King's People: News & Views

Fort Smith, Arkansas, hello... Thrilling end to the first week of games. This is the first time in pool history two games have produced bonus points in the first week. Could be a wild season... Bad scene on Saturday at Notre Dame Stadium. I haven't heard that many Catholics booing at one time since Father Antony mistakenly invited the Shiloh Christian athletic director to the St. Joe fish fry... Big win on the road in the SEC for BYU. Unfortunately, half the BYU band is now in violation of the Honor Code after a pregame march through the Grove... Who doesn't like eggs?... I'm not saying I called it, but I knew Oregon's offense was in trouble early when one of those signs had a picture of Beano Cook... After the loss to Boise State, Mark Richt's job is so in jeopardy that he got an unexpected vote of confidence from Frank Broyles... In my day, reality television meant kick the balloon on the Bozo show, gang... I love the uniforms the kids are doing these days, but when I see Maryland's helmets all I can think of is the last time I went to medieval laser-tag night at Playtime Pizza.

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 10

Five Jokes About Auburn

So the guy promising to deliver Cam Newton in exchange for $200,000 offered a discount of $180,000 to Mississippi State. Some are calling this controversy a blow to Auburn's great season, but the real tragedy here is that Mississippi State doesn't even have enough boosters to cough up the discount rate to pay players.

Former Auburn coach Pat Dye expresses shock and outrage over the Cam Newton allegations. In his day, not only did Auburn double Mississippi State's price but the player also got a car.

While Auburn fans are focused on the undefeated football season, in related news new basketball coach Tony Barbee was surprised to learn Auburn had a compliance department and has suddenly decided several players are "injured" until all booster checks have cleared.

Rumor has it that Notre Dame coaches have been so impressed with Auburn's offense that they are sending a team of coaches to visit this week. But what Auburn didn't realize is that by "offensive strategies" Notre Dame meant getting around NCAA rules by paying players through donations to churches.

Big finish: Alabama fans have been so jealous of Auburn's success this season that they are restocking the booster coffers to go after some prize recruits. The first target to one-up Auburn: Cliff Lee.

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 8

The Awesome Meter: Rating the awesomeness of Week 8 -- Auburn jumps Oregon to No. 1 in the BCS standings: Rating 2 (Under Armour)... Impending e-mails about Auburn being No. 1 in the BCS standings: Rating 1 (Tony Barbee)... AP getting it right with Oregon No. 1 and Boise State No. 2: Rating 5 (Gregory Brothers)... Three No. 1 teams in a row going down to the underdog: Rating 4 (Haydenmobile)... Iowa clock management in the final seconds against Wisconsin: Rating 1 (Airliner closing)... Missouri's crowd sending Oklahoma and Stoops home Ramon style: Rating 5 (Dr. Ingenthron's lozenge)... Another Longhorn loss at home to ruin Sal's weekend: Rating 2 (Crazy Ed's missing clothes)... Oregon play-calling signs on the sideline: Rating 5 (Bundy is a Pig)... Oregon breaking out the volt uniforms on a Thursday night: Rating 5 (Ronaldinho dance)... Navy beating Notre Dame for third time in last four years: Rating 2 (The Dagobah system wasn't built in a day)... Ryan Mallett getting benched during the first rain delay: Rating 3 (Vratsinas Twitter posts on ethanol and soybeans)... Shiloh recruiting coordinator Jimmy Dykes getting 15 minutes of airtime during the second quarter: Rating 2 (Sol the clown)... Razorback fans' continued obsession with Houston Nutt: Rating 1 (Danny Ford)

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 5

College Football Weekend in Review
(in hashtags!)

Alabama 31, Florida 6
(#brandoisrightboisewouldwintheeast)

Oregon 52, Stanford 31
(#3behindohiostate?hahahahalolz)

Iowa 24, Penn State 3
(#howdoyouputupwiththisstyleofballvratsinas)

LSU 16, Tennessee 14
(#missingvernelundquistsayingWHATARETHEYDOING)

Colorado 29, Georgia 27
(#sorrydemillos)

Ole Miss 42, Kentucky 35
(#uhohupsetbrewingsomewhere)

Notre Dame 31, Boston College 13
(#ohsureNOWyouwinone)

Oklahoma 28, Texas 20
(#/"\)

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 4 ...as told by Skako's favorite son, Wat Tambor

Star Wars only:

After a week of hyped-up expectations for the Alabama-Arkansas game, I haven’t seen a fanbase that deflated since Nal Hutta beat Ord Mantell in nuna-ball...

In light of that Stanford beatdown, Notre Dame, winner of the pool’s skunk of the year award last season, may need to expand recruiting a few parsecs all the way to Geonosis...

After three weeks of sharing first place, looks like Lineberry is going the way of the Q7-series astromech droids...

I’m not sure what happened to the Longhorns in Austin, but I haven’t seen Sal this mad since the Trade Federation cut off the shipping route to Coruscant after the invasion of Utapau...

A lot of Catholics were going against Notre Dame on Saturday. Not since the Betrayal at Bespin in 3 ABY have this many people needed to go to confession...

0-5? Ouch, Andrew A. That’s almost as bad as when the Jedi younglings had to take the pop quiz at their academy on Yavin 4...

Steve Spurrier playing that freshman quarterback -- what was he thinking? That was the equivalent of Plo Koon sending Padawan Bultar Swan on a peace mission to the Fondor system...

South Dakota State? How about scheduling someone your own size for once, Nebraska. At this rate, you might as well schedule one of the moons of Mandalore or Gree...

Where do they get the stuff they serve at Razorback Stadium these days? The spice mines of Kessell?...

When I saw that Georgia lost to Mississippie State, I thought to myself, wow, I hope Mark Richt doesn’t end up in the same boat as Grand Admiral Thrawn.

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 3

Dedicated to all Jeeps and Land Cruisers... When Gene Chizik said Auburn’s win over Clemson was “a God thing,” it confirmed something I’ve known all along: Clemson football is the work of the devil... Maybe it’s because Pastor Floyd put a blessing on them when they hired Malzahn, but the school named after a hair coloring product sure is getting more luck than the religious school that lost after a fake field goal snapped with 00 on the play clock... If you’re one of the 13 with a 5-0, consider yourself fortunate after two overtime games and a last-second finish this week, which brings the total to three overtimes in three weeks. Let’s go for four!... I don’t know who the Third Man in the booth was for the Arkansas-Georgia game, but he needed to make like Orson Welles and disappear... Lineberry and Beranek maintain their tie for first after both picked up only their first loss of the season. The competition between them hasn’t been this tight since they fought over the chair to sit behind that girl in film lecture... Of all the announcers calling the games in primetime, there is still only one Mr. Saturday Night: Ron Franklin... Stehlbread, for years you have been calling the Hogs. Now Jeff Long is waiting for you to answer the call. So please take your kids out of Our Lady of Perpetual Help so they can get that new weight room to show to recruits... Source: Kevin Kilpatrick will be asked to return his 2003 Ramon Escobar Trophy for accepting money from an agent to become the on-hold voice of Pizza Hut WingStreet. Call your local Pizza Hut for the evidence... I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more Twitter posts about soybeans from Vratsinas... Quote of the week: “He reminds me of a young Elvis.” -- former SEC three-point king Pat Bradley talking on 103.7 about Doug Virden’s karaoke skills… Brendan O. is continuing his tradition of not picking Arkansas games in the pool, so everyone should be thanking him for Saturday's win... When it comes to rolling paper for cowboys, it's Discount Records 1, iTunes 0.

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 2

What's my new gimmick for Week 2? Come on, man!... Not wearing the fluorescent green jerseys to annoyingly contrast with Vol orange? Come on, Ore-gan... Scoring only 17 against Mississippi State? Come on, Mal-a-zahn... Lineberry and Beranek putting it on everybody with a 10-0 so far? Come on, (former residents of) Yo-cam... Ruining the weekend for Notre Dame fans across the country? Come on, Michi-gan... Mr. Steve Wells sitting at the bottom of the standings? Come on, new syst-am... This new stadium intro video that only shows highlights from last year's Razorbacks? Come on, (bring back the) tradi-shan... Ralphie having to sit through a program on the brink of obscurity? Come on, (Dan and Cody) Hawk-ans... The bleachers in Section 4, Row 57, still broken after 12 years? Come on, (War Memorial) Sta-diam... Claiming I haphazardly left you off the list when I sent you three invitation reminders and never got a response to enter the pool? Come on, Sulli-van... Reggie Bush? What about friggin' O.J.??? Come on, Heis-man... Harassing me all Monday morning about sending out the standings? Come on, (Brad and) Jan(is)... O'Brien resorting to milk of magnesia the night before a Razorback game? Come on, bran... Taking the pick submission design contest in this direction? Come on, Rob-an... Sleeping during Word Wealth? Come on, William Gran... Got your own? Send it and I will post them on Poolsville. Come on, (Noel) O-man!

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 1

Survey says: One more for the good guys... What a game last night to start off the season. The result gave nine people a 5-0 for the week and a chall-enge to every upcoming Monday Night Football game in the NFL. Because there won't be one better than that... If I were the editor of the Flavor Flav News, there would be only one headline for the sports section today: "Yeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhh, Boise!"... Special shout out to the Broncos for breaking out the commemorative Good Counsel Gophers throwback uniforms... Nothing against one of the great voices of college football, Brent Musburger, but what I would have given to hear that game-winning touchdown get the trademark call from Joey Styles... Bruce James was right. Any kid who chooses a school because of the uniform probably can't play football. But on the bright side for Virginia Tech, at least the players know they already have their Halloween costumes ready... The last time I saw a confrontation like the one in the stands last week at the U.S. Open, it was after I gave the guy in the Texas hat the downward Hook 'em Horns sign in 1997... Big week for Mike B. Not only is he tied for first in the standings, but he also made No. 1 on the top six list in High Profile and is "No. 2" to his boss... Thanks to Old No. 18 for hooking me up with the indoor club seats at Razorback Stadium so I could see how many people in that section break out the iPhones when the game gets boring (est. 65 percent). Maybe Jeff Long needs a new campaign called "Not Answering the Call During the Game"... Next up: Monster Saturday!

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 12

The Awesome Meter: Rating the awesomeness of Week 12 -- LSU's final seconds in Oxford as masterfully called by Verne Lundquist: Rating 5 (Between Two Ferns)... High drama at Notre Dame Stadium regardless of outcome: Rating 4 (Whole Hog sauce #5)... Stanford coach's audition for Notre Dame goes south after a failed fourth-down conversion keeps the Axe in Berkeley: Rating 4 (Larry Zbyszko)... Yale coach fakes a punt on fourth and 22 that fails with a minute left and gives the ball back to Harvard to score the winning touchdown: Rating 2 (Televised card playing)... Oregon doing it again in overtime to everyone who picked against them: Rating 3 (Fauzio's penguin)... Local ABC affiliate showing the fourth quarter of Texas blowout instead of switching to Oregon game: Rating 1 (Army Wives)... The Land Grant Trophy: Rating 2 (Doug Virden smoking a pipe)... SEC Network affecting War Memorial Golf Course tailgating: Rating 2 (RazorMail)... Jeremy Peppas and the Poolsville blog being mentioned in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette: Rating 4 (Wondershowzen)... Me going 5-0 for the first time this season: Rating 5 (DeAndre Cole).

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 11

The it list (Reading time: 53 seconds) -- It: Saturday night between the hedges at Athens. Not it: Saturday nights between the buyouts at Notre Dame... It: Paul Johnson getting to the ACC championship game after only two seasons at Georgia Tech. Not it: Every school with a coaching vacancy two years ago that didn't hire him because their fans wanted an offense with more passing... It: Sitting on the couch waiting for updates on Golden Tate. Not it: Sitting in front of Alex at Golden Child... It: Trey's 0-5 in pursuit of the prize for last place. Not it: Trey's pursuit of Pacheco on the playground that resulted in him hitting a girl who was minding her own business jumping rope... It: Oregon's all-black Nike Pro Combat uniforms. Not it: Arkansas' all-red WAC uniforms... It: Dexter McCluster at Ole Miss. Not it: The idiot student who threw the corn dog with mustard into the Arkansas section 10 years ago at Ole Miss... It: "The Box." Not it: Any box trying to pick up CSS HD on Comcast... It: Super Dave Osborne's return to TNA. Not it: Super Nate Allen's return to the sports section but buried on page 2... It: Rutgers grad Maura B. scoring a 5-0. Not it: Rutgers fans scoring "Little Jovi."

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 7

The Truth, With Jokes (Reading time: 43 seconds) -- It: Tebow keeping it in his pants until marriage. Not it: The refs not keeping it in their pants until the end of the game... It: High drama at Notre Dame Stadium. Not it: High drama at the LittleRockMamas.com launch party... It: Paul Johnson's offense working at Arkansas. Not it: Chip Johnson's offense working in intramurals at the HPER buliding... It: Mr. Saturday Night Ron Franklin back on Saturday night. Not it: The Dodgers appearing on my TV on any night... It: Chris O'Brien's wings over the coals. Not it: Chris O'Brien's wing-oes coming back up over the trash can... It: Father Jenkins' second term. Not it: Bishop Taylor having a second speech... It: Fire at Village Inn. Not it: Firing Mark Richt... It: Guy Wade directing a 5-0. Not it: Guy Ritchie directing Sherlock Holmes... It: Tahiti's Red River Rivalry song. Not it: Wale's Beastie Boys tribute... It: Mack Brown. Not it: Being coach of the Cleveland Browns... It: The 145 people who have paid their entry fee. Not it: Holdouts Chris Baldwin and Andrew DeMillo who are going to pay for delaying the announcement of the prize distribution.

Ramon's Escoblog: Week 6

(Introducing a new gimmick inspired by Fire Mouse. Reading time: 42 seconds) -- It: The 18 people who got a 5-0. Not it: The 17 of those not named Mr. Wells... It: What "Coach Broyle" said. Not it: What Trey Davis's e-mails said... It: Razorback fans finally rewarded with a 5-0. Not it: Auburn fans picking against Alabama... It: The Visorettes. Not it: The Hat... It: Kirk's theorem. Not it: Kirk's football picks... It: Randi Parker with her first 5-0 in three years. Not it: The School of Noise with a 1-4... It: Death Valley on a Saturday night. Not it: Whatever they do in Iowa on a Saturday night... It: Tommy Tuberville to Florida State. Not it: Tommy Tuberville to a return to Jerry Jones' skybox... It: The NFL Three. Not it: The Springdale Five... It: Chip Caray doing college football. Not it: TBS doing all the baseball... It: Shields named Beth and Robert. Not it: Shields named Kay and Dave... It: Letters to Ramon. Not it: Letters about Raman... It: Chubb Rock. Not it: Cherub Rock... It: The e-mail design competition. Not it: Sal's Blackberry... It: My mom. Not it: Your momma.

Ramon's Escoblog: Yes, that is a real photo

Ramón Escobar of Telemundo performed at an event to introduce advertisers to new shows.

Neuva York, May 18, 2006 -- Ramón Escobar, senior executive vice president for network entertainment, joined a dozen professional singer-dancers in a polished performance of "All That Jazz" from the musical "Chicago," rewritten to proclaim that Telemundo's programming is "Made for You."