Showing posts with label DJ U-Explicit Johnson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DJ U-Explicit Johnson. Show all posts
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Letters to Ramon: Week 6
"Hopefully I can turn it around, but Mr. Wells has almost doubled my score already. Damn. Nebraska–Missouri: I don’t know much about these two teams. Last year I would have said Mizzou, but I just don’t know. Hopefully Brent Musberger won’t announce the game so he can spare us his obsession with the Black Shirts. Auburn–Arkansas: I want to go on record and say I don’t like Petrino and his mid-major attitude toward defense. I didn’t like Nutt because his on-field presence (or lack thereof) leads to undisciplined bone-head plays, but at least we played D. Somebody needs to inform Petrino that scoring 45 points does you no good if your opponent scores 50." -- Jeff G.
"Auburn-Arkansas: I was impressed with what I saw regarding Auburn the other night even though Arkansas kicked some Aggie rump in Dallas. I don't think the Hog's can keep up with the Auburn offensive juggernaut... yet. BTW, Auburn is in such an isolated place in Alabama, I am convinced it was the inspiration for Field Of Dreams... they built it and they have come! Alabama-Ole Miss: Too many anti-Nutters here... I actually like the guy and think he is a great coach. Nutt somehow finds a way in at least one huge game a year to have a major upset (can you say Gators --- teee, heee!!) However, this ain't the week." -- J. Kriz
"How 'bout them Saints? Who Dat!" -- Josh M.
"Hell, just put me down for whatever Steve Wells has! And DAMN YOU for putting Arkansas in the pool! I can't pick against them, no matter who I think is going to win. It's a recessive 'female' gene that forces me to go with my heart over my head." -- Alex T.
"Nebraska - This could be a close game due to Mizzou's home field advantage but after seeing who Mizzou has played to become undefeated at this point, it's easier to pick Neb due to their pitiful schedule. They could be like the undefeated Tex A&M heading into the Ark game. Oregon - O wins due to UCLA's QB Prince's broken jaw and him not being about to call the plays in the huddle or do the snap count. Shout out to John "The Captain" Vratsinas and his team's impressive victory over the fighting red wolves of Jonesboro. Also, Chizik actually beat Iowa while at Iowa State his first year. War Eagle!" -- Seve Chang
"Wells has assumed god-like status in this pool. He's now coming to my office on Tuesdays wondering why I have not yet placed the games in his mailbox. I do hope his streak continues... I remember when he won the Classix and took his English class out for pizza on his winnings. When Wells is around, victory smells like good food..." -- Steve S.
"Does anybody else think that Lee Corso has lost a step? He's not so fast anymore, my friend. He and Lou Holtz are gonna be put out to pasture soon. Go Hogs! I'm a believer. Don't let me down." -- Aggie Mark
"Man ... 0-5 last week ... ouch. I'm going against my initial reaction to this week's picks and see where that gets me. And if I go 0-5 this week, I might as well hand my responsibilities over to David Kersey." -- Wuje the Elder
"Winner = Arkansas (with a little more sugar this Kool-Aid will taste good)." -- David M.
"It's a coming out party for Arkansas as we go undefeated the rest of the year. BTW I don’t know what I am smoking but it is some good stuff." -- Joe C.
"Well, I guaranteed that I wouldn't go 0-5 last week... barely got it with a 1-4." -- Cory I.
"This has been the worst year for me. I have not won more than two games a week. I cannot believe it but I guess I have to keep trying." -- Broderick
"I can still see my name in the standings without scrolling. Sorta like being on page 1 of a Google search." -- Danny K.
"I'll s##t in my pants if Arkansas wins, but gotta make the pick." -- DJ U-Explicit Johnson
"I can’t believe I forgot to send in the picks again. I SUCK! And I even went 4-1 last week. I really needed that." -- Mike G.
"Oregon... seriously, I thought we discussed this last weekend. I guess you were too sauced to remember, but I was fairly clear about Clemson or any Oregon school being in this pool!" -- Dr. Aristotle Ditka
"I'm picking some upsets in a desperate bid to catch Mr. Wells. I'm not real comfortable with it, but why not? He told me his secret, 'I only pick the teams I want to win' and then uses magic. Like Harry Potter magic." -- Jeremy P.
"Gotta make this quick as Sue wants to go out and grab something to eat. My picks, hopefully better than lately since I'm not over thinking them, are as follows: 1) Missouri (for no other reason than they had more Confereates during the distant War of Northern Agression); 2)Auburn (putting my mouth where my money is); 3) Alabama (dad gum it, Ole Miss is just too undependable to pick them as an upset, no matter what I really want to happen, and I'm tired of Lee's post weekend smack talk); 4) UCLA (because I'm stubborn about not picking these quackers); and 5) Florida (because if we don't win the west I want some one capable of beating them to be at the SEC Championship game). Watch out Fayetteville, I have it on well-qualified authority born in Arkansas that we're going to beat the Hogs at home again, this time by 3 touchdowns since the Hiogs can't stop a cold." -- Big O
"As suggested by the Walmart greeter: Missouri, Auburn, Bama, Oregon, Florida" -- Professor Rab
"I am once again not picking the Razorback Game." -- Brendan O.
"Auburn-Arkansas: I was impressed with what I saw regarding Auburn the other night even though Arkansas kicked some Aggie rump in Dallas. I don't think the Hog's can keep up with the Auburn offensive juggernaut... yet. BTW, Auburn is in such an isolated place in Alabama, I am convinced it was the inspiration for Field Of Dreams... they built it and they have come! Alabama-Ole Miss: Too many anti-Nutters here... I actually like the guy and think he is a great coach. Nutt somehow finds a way in at least one huge game a year to have a major upset (can you say Gators --- teee, heee!!) However, this ain't the week." -- J. Kriz
"How 'bout them Saints? Who Dat!" -- Josh M.
"Hell, just put me down for whatever Steve Wells has! And DAMN YOU for putting Arkansas in the pool! I can't pick against them, no matter who I think is going to win. It's a recessive 'female' gene that forces me to go with my heart over my head." -- Alex T.
"Nebraska - This could be a close game due to Mizzou's home field advantage but after seeing who Mizzou has played to become undefeated at this point, it's easier to pick Neb due to their pitiful schedule. They could be like the undefeated Tex A&M heading into the Ark game. Oregon - O wins due to UCLA's QB Prince's broken jaw and him not being about to call the plays in the huddle or do the snap count. Shout out to John "The Captain" Vratsinas and his team's impressive victory over the fighting red wolves of Jonesboro. Also, Chizik actually beat Iowa while at Iowa State his first year. War Eagle!" -- Seve Chang
"Wells has assumed god-like status in this pool. He's now coming to my office on Tuesdays wondering why I have not yet placed the games in his mailbox. I do hope his streak continues... I remember when he won the Classix and took his English class out for pizza on his winnings. When Wells is around, victory smells like good food..." -- Steve S.
"Does anybody else think that Lee Corso has lost a step? He's not so fast anymore, my friend. He and Lou Holtz are gonna be put out to pasture soon. Go Hogs! I'm a believer. Don't let me down." -- Aggie Mark
"Man ... 0-5 last week ... ouch. I'm going against my initial reaction to this week's picks and see where that gets me. And if I go 0-5 this week, I might as well hand my responsibilities over to David Kersey." -- Wuje the Elder
"Winner = Arkansas (with a little more sugar this Kool-Aid will taste good)." -- David M.
"It's a coming out party for Arkansas as we go undefeated the rest of the year. BTW I don’t know what I am smoking but it is some good stuff." -- Joe C.
"Well, I guaranteed that I wouldn't go 0-5 last week... barely got it with a 1-4." -- Cory I.
"This has been the worst year for me. I have not won more than two games a week. I cannot believe it but I guess I have to keep trying." -- Broderick
"I can still see my name in the standings without scrolling. Sorta like being on page 1 of a Google search." -- Danny K.
"I'll s##t in my pants if Arkansas wins, but gotta make the pick." -- DJ U-Explicit Johnson
"I can’t believe I forgot to send in the picks again. I SUCK! And I even went 4-1 last week. I really needed that." -- Mike G.
"Oregon... seriously, I thought we discussed this last weekend. I guess you were too sauced to remember, but I was fairly clear about Clemson or any Oregon school being in this pool!" -- Dr. Aristotle Ditka
"I'm picking some upsets in a desperate bid to catch Mr. Wells. I'm not real comfortable with it, but why not? He told me his secret, 'I only pick the teams I want to win' and then uses magic. Like Harry Potter magic." -- Jeremy P.
"Gotta make this quick as Sue wants to go out and grab something to eat. My picks, hopefully better than lately since I'm not over thinking them, are as follows: 1) Missouri (for no other reason than they had more Confereates during the distant War of Northern Agression); 2)Auburn (putting my mouth where my money is); 3) Alabama (dad gum it, Ole Miss is just too undependable to pick them as an upset, no matter what I really want to happen, and I'm tired of Lee's post weekend smack talk); 4) UCLA (because I'm stubborn about not picking these quackers); and 5) Florida (because if we don't win the west I want some one capable of beating them to be at the SEC Championship game). Watch out Fayetteville, I have it on well-qualified authority born in Arkansas that we're going to beat the Hogs at home again, this time by 3 touchdowns since the Hiogs can't stop a cold." -- Big O
"As suggested by the Walmart greeter: Missouri, Auburn, Bama, Oregon, Florida" -- Professor Rab
"I am once again not picking the Razorback Game." -- Brendan O.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Letters to Ramon
Actual calls from actual listeners...
"Wally Hall is a moron. Anyway, I'll be cheering for Ole Miss. Not only will I be cheering, I'm hoping Ole Miss wins big and Nutt charges into the stands to lead Ole Miss's band in a victory song. I'd then hope he'd kick Lanny Beavers and Wally in their respective junks. In the words of Tim Brando, 'Ole Miss is the best 3-4 team in the country.'" -- Jeremy P.
"Can't say I was ever a Nutt fan, even from the beginning. I did not like his demeanor on the sideline - looked out of control - and I always felt that kind of spastic behavior filtered down to the players and accounted for their lack of discipline on the field, stupid plays, etc. That being said, I didn't like the way he went out, from his end or that of the 'fans'. But one thing has already been proven a constant with Nutt now that he's in Oxford - he'll win games he is supposed to lose and just as often lose games he is supposed to win." -- Jeff G.
"Sorry, hate to pick against the Hogs, but I'm looking forward to Nutt's revenge." -- Paul H.
"Your choice matchups having me praying for rain (at least in Red Bank, NJ) to relieve me of my previous commitment to hang up Halloween decorations and get a pumpkin. While my 7 year old daughter would be disappointed to be rained out, the consolation prize will be to get daddy a napkin before mommy sees the dropped wing on the couch!" -- Greg Biz
"I used the same online ouija as Senor Dailey, but it seems I summoned the spirit of Shannon Hoon because when I questioned the Arkansas/Ole Miss game the reply came back 'czhat.' I called a heroin addicted friend of mine and he said that was clearly an Arkansas pick." -- DJ U-Explicit Johnson
"Never a good idea to pick so few home teams, but I am doing it anyway. Who needs $800? Probably a good idea to wear a rain coat to the game on Saturday - Mom told me you are going to be one of the fans cheering for Ole Miss and the rain coat should protect you from the spit hurled at you." -- Kate D.
"I hate Houston Dale Nutt. I hope he trips on his way to the stadium, falls into the street, and Nolan runs him over with his car!" -- Joe C.
"I noticed how you're sharing the extra money in the prizes. Just like a democrat sharing the wealth. On a serious note, that was nice of Wells to create that for Catholic alums and I do like the loser award because it's definitely just as difficult to go 0-5 if you're really picking." -- BR
"Ole Miss-Arkansas - Winner: Won't Pick. I've quit picking Arkansas games in case you didn't remember that from last year. It hasn't been a problem this year." -- Brendan O.
"I drank moonshine, that remarkably tasted like straight Popov and went down about as smooth. West Virginia fans like to cuss at you and give you the finger a lot. And finally, drinking a half liter of Captain Morgan DURING the game means you don't really remember a lot and a miserable 300 mile drive back to Philadelphia." -- Lee D. on his trip to see Auburn play at Morgantown
"Wally Hall is a moron. Anyway, I'll be cheering for Ole Miss. Not only will I be cheering, I'm hoping Ole Miss wins big and Nutt charges into the stands to lead Ole Miss's band in a victory song. I'd then hope he'd kick Lanny Beavers and Wally in their respective junks. In the words of Tim Brando, 'Ole Miss is the best 3-4 team in the country.'" -- Jeremy P.
"Can't say I was ever a Nutt fan, even from the beginning. I did not like his demeanor on the sideline - looked out of control - and I always felt that kind of spastic behavior filtered down to the players and accounted for their lack of discipline on the field, stupid plays, etc. That being said, I didn't like the way he went out, from his end or that of the 'fans'. But one thing has already been proven a constant with Nutt now that he's in Oxford - he'll win games he is supposed to lose and just as often lose games he is supposed to win." -- Jeff G.
"Sorry, hate to pick against the Hogs, but I'm looking forward to Nutt's revenge." -- Paul H.
"Your choice matchups having me praying for rain (at least in Red Bank, NJ) to relieve me of my previous commitment to hang up Halloween decorations and get a pumpkin. While my 7 year old daughter would be disappointed to be rained out, the consolation prize will be to get daddy a napkin before mommy sees the dropped wing on the couch!" -- Greg Biz
"I used the same online ouija as Senor Dailey, but it seems I summoned the spirit of Shannon Hoon because when I questioned the Arkansas/Ole Miss game the reply came back 'czhat.' I called a heroin addicted friend of mine and he said that was clearly an Arkansas pick." -- DJ U-Explicit Johnson
"Never a good idea to pick so few home teams, but I am doing it anyway. Who needs $800? Probably a good idea to wear a rain coat to the game on Saturday - Mom told me you are going to be one of the fans cheering for Ole Miss and the rain coat should protect you from the spit hurled at you." -- Kate D.
"I hate Houston Dale Nutt. I hope he trips on his way to the stadium, falls into the street, and Nolan runs him over with his car!" -- Joe C.
"I noticed how you're sharing the extra money in the prizes. Just like a democrat sharing the wealth. On a serious note, that was nice of Wells to create that for Catholic alums and I do like the loser award because it's definitely just as difficult to go 0-5 if you're really picking." -- BR
"Ole Miss-Arkansas - Winner: Won't Pick. I've quit picking Arkansas games in case you didn't remember that from last year. It hasn't been a problem this year." -- Brendan O.
"I drank moonshine, that remarkably tasted like straight Popov and went down about as smooth. West Virginia fans like to cuss at you and give you the finger a lot. And finally, drinking a half liter of Captain Morgan DURING the game means you don't really remember a lot and a miserable 300 mile drive back to Philadelphia." -- Lee D. on his trip to see Auburn play at Morgantown
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