Auburn crowned as winner of Slabby, the CFPA's national championship award

Auburn Tigers named team of the year,
Georgia gets season's skunk award


NEWS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

For more information, contact Robert Shields
at fromthebench@yahoo.com.

CFPA Championship Committee Votes
Auburn as the 2010 National Champion

POOLSVILLE, USA (December 16, 2010) –– The College Football Prognosticators Association (CFPA) awards its national championship, the Slabby Trophy, prior to the beginning of bowl season in the tradition of how the Associated Press used to do it back in the day before the creation of the BCS.

The CFPA’s expert panel, which unlike most of these voting bodies out there that produce polls throughout the season has been diligently studying and watching college football all year, has concluded voting for the 2010 national champion with the following results.

1) Auburn
2) Oregon
3) Arkansas
4) TCU
5) Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Stanford (tie)

Congratulations to the Auburn University Tigers for being voted as the best college football team in 2010 prior to playing out the nonsense mandated by the BCS computers and Harris Poll voters who have no idea what they are doing.

The championship committee, called the College Football Prognosticators Association, is comprised of 152 college football experts from across the country with a range of backgrounds that is a "who's who" of reporters, bankers, doctors, lawyers, ad wizards, lawn guys, bond guys, car guys, pilots, priests, principals, builders, teachers, bums, and nomads.

The mission of the CFPA recognizes that the Bowl Championship Series has become meaningless, detrimental, and exclusionary to college football. The outcome of such bowl games does not deliver a true national champion based on the merits of the season. The CFPA's national championship is the only award in college football that recognizes a true champion based on the team’s efforts during the regular season.

The CFPA national championship trophy, affectionately referred to as "Slabby," is a stone tablet weighing more than 75 pounds. It is proclaimed as the heaviest and most indestructible award in college football, and as a bonus is also all-weather. Each year, the elected national champion's name is added to the trophy and sent to the university's athletic department. After agreeing to accept shipping, the athletic director must then carry the tablet 10 feet in the Slabby Strength Challenge in order to keep the trophy the remainder of the year.

The CFPA has been in existence since 2002 and started awarding Slabby in 2004. Past winners of Slabby have been USC and Auburn (tie vote) in 2004, USC in 2005, Ohio State in 2006, LSU in 2007, Florida in 2008, and Alabama in 2009.

Learn more about an alternative to the current BCS system that includes conference realignment and playoffs at Project Playoffs.


Auburn also wins college football team of the year

As students of the game throughout the season, the CFPA also names a team of the year that is not necessarily the best team but played a difficult schedule and won the majority of those games.

Using a patented scientific formula the CFPA has sworn to secrecy to prevent its exploitation by the BCS and Powers That Be in college football, plus the input of 152 keen viewing eyes, Auburn University also came out as this year's winner for beating one of the toughest schedules in the country while dealing with one of the biggest off-the-field dramas in college football in recent years.


Georgia named college football's skunk of year

Using the same methodology, the CFPA also names the football program that was the most disappointing of the season. For 2010, that team is the Georgia Bulldogs, which failed in every big game and is being rewarded with a trip to the AutoZone Liberty Bowl in Memphis for squeaking out six wins against three other six-win also-rans and three annually bad football programs.

40 FTW: The bowl games

Forty Games for the Win!

Division I FCS Semifinal
Villanova - Eastern Washington
7 p.m., Dec. 17, ESPN2
Sagarin says: Villanova by 3

Division II Championship Game
Delta State - Minnesota Duluth
10 a.m., Dec. 18, ESPN2
No line

Division I FCS Semifinal
Georgia Southern - Delaware
11 a.m., Dec. 18, ESPNU
Sagarin says: Delaware by 7
* Underdog worth three points

New Mexico Bowl
BYU - UTEP
1 p.m., Dec. 18, ESPN
Line: BYU by 11
* Underdog worth four points

Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl
Mount Union - Wisconsin Whitewater
2:30 p.m., Dec. 18, ESPNU
No line

uDrove Humanitarian Bowl
Northern Illinois - Fresno State
4:30 p.m., Dec. 18, ESPN
Line: Northern Illinois by 1

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Troy - Ohio
8 p.m., Dec. 18, ESPN
Line: Troy by 1

Beef 'O' Brady's St. Petersburg Bowl
Louisville - Southern Miss
7 p.m., Dec. 21, ESPN
Line: Louisville by 3

MAACO Bowl
Utah - Boise State
7 p.m., Dec. 22, ESPN
Line: Boise State by 17
* Underdog worth six points

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
Navy - San Diego State
7 p.m., Dec. 23, ESPN
Line: San Diego State by 5
* Underdog worth three points

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Tulsa - Hawaii
7 p.m., Dec. 24, ESPN
Line: Hawaii by 11
* Underdog worth four points

Little Caesars Pizza Bowl
Toledo - Florida International
7:30 p.m., Dec. 26, ESPN
Line: Toledo by 1

AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl
Air Force - Georgia Tech
4 p.m., Dec. 27, ESPN
Line: Air Force by 2

Champs Sports Bowl
NC State - West Virginia
5:30 p.m., Dec. 28, ESPN
Line: West Virginia by 2

Insight Bowl
Iowa - Missouri
9 p.m., Dec. 28, ESPN
Line: Missouri by 1

Military Bowl
Maryland - East Carolina
1:30 p.m., Dec. 29, ESPN
Line: Maryland by 7
* Underdog worth three points

Texas Bowl
Illinois - Baylor
5 p.m., Dec. 29, ESPN
Line: Baylor by 1

Valero Alamo Bowl
Arizona - Oklahoma State
8 p.m., Dec. 29, ESPN
Line: Oklahoma State by 6
* Underdog worth three points

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
SMU - Army
11 a.m., Dec. 30, ESPN
Line: SMU by 8
* Underdog worth three points

New Era Pinstripe Bowl
Syracuse - Kansas State
2:30 p.m., Dec. 30, ESPN
Line: Pick 'em

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl
North Carolina - Tennessee
5:30 p.m., Dec. 30, ESPN
Line: North Carolina by 2

Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl
Washington - Nebraska
9 p.m., Dec. 30, ESPN
Line: Nebraska by 13
* Underdog worth five points

Meineke Car Care Bowl
Clemson - South Florida
11 a.m., Dec. 31, ESPN
Line: Clemson by 4

Hyundai Sun Bowl
Miami - Notre Dame
1 p.m., Dec. 31, CBS
Line: Miami by 3

AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Central Florida - Georgia
2:30 p.m., Dec. 31, ESPN
Line: Georgia by 6
* Underdog worth three points

Chick-fil-A Bowl
Florida State - South Carolina
6:30 p.m., Dec. 31, ESPN
Line: South Carolina by 3

TicketCity Bowl
Northwestern - Texas Tech
11 a.m., Jan. 1, ESPNU
Line: Texas Tech by 9
* Underdog worth four points

Outback Bowl
Penn State - Florida
Noon, Jan. 1, ABC
Line: Florida by 7
* Underdog worth three points

Capital One Bowl
Alabama - Michigan State
Noon, Jan. 1, ESPN
Line: Alabama by 10
* Underdog worth four points

Gator Bowl
Michigan - Mississippi State
12:30 p.m., Jan. 1, ESPN2
Line: Mississippi State by 5
* Underdog worth three points

The Rose Bowl Game
Wisconsin - TCU
4 p.m., Jan. 1, ESPN
Line: TCU by 2

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
Oklahoma - Connecticut
7:30 p.m., Jan. 1, ESPN
Line: Oklahoma by 17
* Underdog worth six points

Discover Orange Bowl
Virginia Tech - Stanford
7 p.m., Jan. 3, ESPN
Line: Stanford by 3

Allstate Sugar Bowl
Arkansas - Ohio State
7:30 p.m., Jan. 4, ESPN
Line: Ohio State by 3

GoDaddy.com Bowl
Miami Ohio - Middle Tennessee
7 p.m., Jan. 6, ESPN
Line: Miami Ohio by 1

Division I FCS Championship Game
Select winner from semifinalists at top
6 p.m., Jan. 7, ESPN2
Sagarin says: To be determined

AT&T Cotton Bowl Classic
Texas A&M - LSU
7 p.m., Jan. 7, Fox
Line: LSU by 1

BBVA Compass Bowl
Pittsburgh - Kentucky
11 a.m., Jan. 8, ESPN
Line: Pittsburgh by 3

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl
Nevada - Boston College
8 p.m., Jan. 9, ESPN
Line: Nevada by 9
* Underdog worth four points

Tostitos BCS National Championship Game
Auburn - Oregon
7:30 p.m., Jan. 10, ESPN
Line: Auburn by 3
* Winner worth double points

For the Win!
****#****

Editorial on the Army-Navy game

Why doesn't CBS move this game to primetime? Look at Saturday evening's TV lineup — Frosty, Frosty Returns, Flight Before Christmas (Huh?) and 48 Hours Mystery. Are you telling me Army-Navy wouldn't draw better TV ratings? In an era of faux patriotism (no, we should not treat "God Bless America" with the same reverence as The National Anthem), we should honor the real patriots at our service academies by showcasing the Best Rivalry In College Sports on primetime TV. Sure, the Heisman ceremony is on that night, but who wants to watch ESPN milk an hour of coverage out of a 10-minute event? That said, set the DVR for the 30 for 30 on SMU's cheating in the 1980s. It might be as good as the episode on The U and the two Escobars (neither of which were Ramon).

-- Scott

Extra Credit Week

Some professors have been known to offer a chance to improve your grade between the end of the semester and the final exam. Here's yours.

One of the extra-credit questions could be: Would you rather have Malzahn, Mullen, or Petrino if you were Florida?

Another could be: Why would a coach who had a statistically improbable improvement from 7-5 to 13-0 not be voted SEC coach of the year unless the other coaches thought he cheated to get there?

But instead, to avoid being labeled as unpatriotic and anti-Auburn (some say that's the same thing), you get the below to pick. Easy, right?

The Army - Navy Game
1:30 p.m., Saturday, CBS
Line: Navy by 7
* Underdog worth three points

The Heisman Trophy
LaMichael James (Oregon)
Andrew Luck (Stanford)
Kellen Moore (Boise State)
Cam Newton (Auburn)
7 p.m., Saturday, ESPN

Good luck.
****#****

Following the Heisman presentation, stay tuned for Pony Excess!

Project Playoffs: End of season standings and seedings

Wouldn't this be a lot more fun than the bowls?

There would be no Fiesta Bowl featuring Oklahoma as a 17-point favorite over Big East "champion" Connecticut, no Boise State relegated to the MAACO Las Vegas Bowl as a 17-point favorite over Utah, and no bowls featuring 6-6 teams completely undeserving of playing in the postseason.

Instead, how about 16 teams getting a shot to play for the national championship -- on the field?

The Project Playoffs Foundation has taken the top 81 schools by football attendance and divided them into nine geographically correct conferences. Though it will never happen because the greedy college administrators don't want to part with their conference television money, this realignment plan is the most sensible solution and will fix what ails the greatest sport with the worst postseason.

Using the Massey Comparison Rankings, which take every poll and computer rating into account, below is a projection of how the standings would be in each of these realigned conferences as of Week 13 prior to the money grab that is better known as the conference championship games.

Each conference winner gets an automatic birth into the 16-team playoff, and the next best seven teams according to an all-encompassing rating system would also make the playoff. Then all 16 teams are seeded regardless of conference finish using the same all-encompassing rating system.

First-round match-ups:

16 West Virginia at 1 Oregon
15 South Carolina at 2 Auburn
14 Virginia Tech at 3 TCU
13 LSU at 4 Stanford
12 Oklahoma State at 5 Boise State
11 Alabama at 6 Oklahoma
10 Missouri at 7 Ohio State
9 Wisconsin at 8 Arkansas

Potential second-round match-ups:

8 Arkansas at 1 Oregon

7 Ohio State at 2 Auburn

6 Oklahoma at 3 TCU

5 Boise State at 4 Stanford

Click here for a full explanation of Project Playoffs.

Northwest
1 Oregon (12-0)
5 Boise State (11-1)
Utah (10-2)
Air Force (8-4)
Oregon State (5-7)
Washington (6-6)
Fresno State (8-4)
BYU (6-6)
Washington State (2-10)

Southern
2 Auburn (13-0)
11 Alabama (9-3)
13 LSU (10-2)
Mississippi State (8-4)
Southern Miss (8-4)
Tennessee (6-6)
Ole Miss (4-8)
Vanderbilt (2-10)
Memphis (1-11)

Mid-South
3 TCU (12-0)
6 Oklahoma (11-2)
8 Arkansas (10-2)
12 Oklahoma State (10-2)
Texas A&M (9-3)
Baylor (7-5)
Texas Tech (7-5)
Texas (5-7)
Houston (5-7)

West
4 Stanford (11-1)
Hawaii (10-3)
USC (8-5)
Arizona (7-5)
Arizona State (6-6)
California (5-7)
UCLA (4-8)
UTEP (6-6)
New Mexico (1-11)

Mid-North
7 Ohio State (11-1)
Michigan State (11-1)
Notre Dame (7-5)
Michigan (7-5)
Illinois (6-6)
Louisville (6-6)
Cincinnati (4-8)
Purdue (4-8)
Indiana (5-7)

Midwest
9 Wisconsin (11-1)
10 Missouri (10-2)
Nebraska (10-3)
Iowa (7-5)
Kansas State (7-5)
Colorado (5-7)
Iowa State (5-7)
Minnesota (3-9)
Kansas (3-9)

Atlantic
14 Virginia Tech (11-2)
North Carolina State (8-4)
Maryland (8-4)
North Carolina (7-5)
Kentucky (6-6)
East Carolina (6-6)
Virginia (4-8)
Duke (3-9)
Wake Forest (3-9)

Southeast
15 South Carolina (9-4)
Florida State (9-4)
Florida (7-5)
Miami (7-5)
Central Florida (10-3)
Georgia (6-6)
Clemson (6-6)
South Florida (7-5)
Georgia Tech (6-6)

Northeast
16 West Virginia (9-3)
Navy (8-3)
Pittsburgh (7-5)
Penn State (7-5)
Connecticut (8-4)
Boston College (7-5)
Syracuse (7-5)
Army (6-5)
Rutgers (4-8)

Newton ad idea

With all the Cam Newton controversy lately, he could do an insurance ad. So here it goes:
An insurance ad
Cam Newton, you jackwagon
Fifteen percent off.

SEC bylaw 14.01.3.2: Cam Newton should be ineligible

"If at any time before or after matriculation in a member institution a student-athlete or any member of his/her family receives or agrees to receive, directly or indirectly, any aid or assistance beyond or in addition to that permitted by the Bylaws of this Conference (except such aid or assistance as such student-athlete may receive from those persons on whom the student is naturally or legally dependent for support), such student-athlete shall be ineligible for competition in any intercollegiate sport within the Conference for the remainder of his/her college career."

Live Fan Feedback: Week 14

Comments on the week from our expert panel of reporters, bankers, doctors, lawyers, ad wizards, lawn guys, bond guys, car guys, pilots, priests, principals, builders, teachers, bums, and nomads.

Continually updated throughout the day...

Sue Everybody with Glenn B:

Arizona over Arizona State - this game is a LOCK for Arizona.

South Carolina over Auburn - Ol' Ball Coach has this one in his sights. No offense to Chizik and Malzahn, but those guys still had tassels hanging off the ends of their bicycle handlebars back when Spurrier was in his heyday. I don't want either team to win, I do want Arkansas to go to a BCS bowl, but this pick is all business, Poolsville hardcore. Give me the bonus point.

Virginia Tech over Florida State - VA Tech has overcome an immense amount of self-inflicted adversity, but they are on a roll and will continue to roll, for this season at least. But look for an ascendant Florida State in the coming years.

Nebraska over Oklahoma in the Cornhuskers last Big 12 game. See ya!

Yawn. South Florida wins. Who do they play again? Yawn.

-

I’m not an Oregonian, but how does UConn/USF trump the Civil War? Token Big (L)east game maybe? -- C. Fish

I agree with your take on the championship games in conferences. BCS chaos will break out if either Auburn or Oregon lose. I'm still amused by a couple of the ESPN commentators (especially Rod Gilmore) that still want to bash TCU. I'll be happy for a Rose Bowl birth for TCU though against Wisconsin-if TCU loses badly, those commentators might have a leg to stand on. It's amazing to me how quickly they forget Standord lost by 20 or 21 to Oregon, so I don't see how Stanford could be considered for the mythical title. Also, Oregon has wins over four teams with winning records. I wish someone could explain the SOS component. -- Party P

-

Clearly, my demise must be associated with the lack of proper poetry.

She cleans the house and works all day,
She doesn't have much time to play.
She washes my clothes and fixes my dinnner.
But she never helps me pick a winner.
There in is where the problem lies.
Now ask her again why she's got two black eyes.

-- Danny K.

-

It's desperation time. While I have little hope to close the ranks between me and the leaders, all my efforst are now focused on the Jersey Shore Throwdown. I love Thursday night games... wife is out for dinner with the neighborhood girls... the kids will be in bed by 8:30... then it's just me, the Duel in the Desert, and a mini keg of New Castle Brown! -- Bizzy G

Just because I hate the Auburn fans doesn’t mean I don’t want the SEC in the championship game. War… nevermind! -- Pacheco Punch

For the 2nd year in a row, I'm really crushing it! -- DJ Jazzy Josh

Another 3-2 week, so I’m done. Hotels are booking up fast if you’re looking to go to New Orleans. The Holiday Inn French Quarter looks to be within walking distance of at least two Larry Flynt Hustler Clubs, so I’m there – maybe I’ll go even if the Hogs get screwed out of the Sugar Bowl. -- Jeff G.

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Seminole Prognosticator Presents:

Arizona State - Arizona
I guess the Duel in the Desert is important to someone. Remember always... It is a dry heat! So is a microwave but you won't catch me living in one!

Auburn - South Carolina
Spurrier... need I say more.

Florida State - Virginia Tech
Who would have thought that not only would Florida State humiliate the Gators, Maryland would beat North Carolina State in the final moment of their game sending America's Team to the ACC Championship Game. How can I possibly go against my beloved Noles!!!

Nebraska - Oklahoma
Grain fed versus beef fed... I love a great steak as much as the next guy but gotta go Grain...

Connecticut - South Florida
After sending Randy Shannon to the employment lines with a paltry 1.8 million payout (my gosh how can the man live??? -- Reminds me of the great one (I just vomited in my mouth) Latrell Sprewell, who during contract negotiations was offended that he was offered but a pitiful multi-kazillion dollar contract uttered these immortal words... "Hey my kids gotta eat." My gosh they must be porkers.... but I digress) South Florida is on a roll.

I am feeling good for my first 5-0 week. Remember, you heard it first right here by the Seminole Prognosticator!!

-

Faldon's Other Five Thoughts:

Arizona — Wait, did I read that correctly? Arizona is playing Arizona State!?! I didn't think that was legal. They're in the same conference!?! Silly Arizonans, they should have consulted with Broyles.

Auburn — Did you listen to Finebaum on Monday after the Iron Bowl? It was the best thing on the radio ... well, on the radio as streamed through my computer. Yes, yes, his show is Alabama-centric but how is it not on in every SEC state? Next to Tony Kornheiser, Finebaum's radio work is the best sports talk you can listen to most days during football season.

Virginia Tech — Why don't other schools play Beamer Ball?

Nebraska — The Big 12 declined delivering the North trophy to the Cornhuskers' final game in Lincoln. Seems they feared for the safety of the conference lackey assigned that job. Really? Really!?! You mean to tell me the Big 12 couldn't hire some off-duty cops to protect the guy? As much money as athletic conferences pull in, the B12 could have hired Blackwater (or whatever that band of mercenaries ... err, security contractors ... call themselves now). If it seems like the conference was giving Nebraska the finger, it's because it was.

South Florida — Key West > West Haven

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Although, how can you not love the last game Nebraska plays in The Big 12 being in a championship against Oklahoma? That just feels right. -- Danny K.