Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Alabama crowned as winner of Slabby,
the CFPA's national championship award

Oregon Ducks named team of the year,
Notre Dame gets season's skunk award


NEWS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

For more information, contact Robert Shields
at fromthebench@yahoo.com.


CFPA Championship Committee Votes
Alabama as the 2009 National Champion

POOLSVILLE, USA (December 17, 2009) –– The College Football Prognosticators Association (CFPA) awards its national championship, the Slabby Trophy, prior to the beginning of bowl season in the tradition of how the Associated Press used to do it back in the day before the creation of the BCS.

The CFPA’s expert panel, which unlike most of these voting bodies out there that produce polls throughout the season has been diligently studying and watching college football all year, has concluded voting for the 2009 national champion with the following results.

1) Alabama
2) TCU
3) Texas
4) Cincinnati
5) Boise State and Oregon (tie)

Congratulations to the University of Alabama Crimson Tide for being voted as the best college football team in 2009 prior to playing out the nonsense mandated by the BCS computers and Harris Poll voters who have no idea what they are doing.

The championship committee, called the College Football Prognosticators Association, is comprised of 150 college football experts from across the country with a range of backgrounds that is a "who's who" of reporters, bankers, doctors, lawyers, ad wizards, lawn guys, bond guys, car guys, pilots, priests, principals, builders, teachers, bums, and nomads.

The mission of the CFPA recognizes that the Bowl Championship Series has become meaningless, detrimental, and exclusionary to college football. The outcome of such bowl games does not deliver a true national champion based on the merits of the season. The CFPA's national championship is the only award in college football that recognizes a true champion based on the team’s efforts during the regular season.

The CFPA national championship trophy, affectionately referred to as "Slabby," is a stone tablet weighing more than 75 pounds. It is proclaimed as the heaviest and most indestructible award in college football, and as a bonus is also all-weather. Each year, the elected national champion's name is added to the trophy and sent to the university's athletic department. The athletic director must then carry the tablet 10 feet in the Slabby Strength Challenge in order to keep the trophy the remainder of the year.

The CFPA has been in existence since 2002 and started awarding Slabby in 2004. Past winners of Slabby have been USC and Auburn (tie vote) in 2004, USC in 2005, Ohio State in 2006, LSU in 2007, and Florida in 2008.

Learn more about an alternative to the current system at Project Playoffs.


Oregon wins college football team of the year

As students of the game throughout the season, the CFPA also names a team of the year that is not necessarily the best team but played a difficult schedule and won the majority of those games.

Using a patented scientific formula the CFPA has sworn to secrecy to prevent its exploitation by the BCS and Powers That Be in college football, plus the input of 147 keen viewing eyes, the University of Oregon Ducks came out as this year's winner for embodying the skills and spirit of a great college football program.


Notre Dame named college football's skunk of year

Using the same methodology, the CFPA also names the football program that was the most disappointing of the season. For 2009, that team is the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, which failed in every big game and concluded the season by dropping $18 million to rid the college of its head football coach.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

You have bums, pool guys, but no pimps? Sorry, no credibility.


RFT!!!
Dave Kelsen