(Begin Bud Light theme music)
Announcer: Bud Light Presents, "Real Men of Genius"
Backup singer: Reaaaaal Men Of Genius
Announcer: Today we salute you, Mr. Over-conservative, Egotistical Football Coach.
Backup singer: Mr. Over-conservative, Egotistical Football
Cooooooooach!
Announcer: Game after game you find your team ahead in the final minutes but somehow seem to lose.
Backup singer: Ooohhh...we almost had it!
Announcer: As the game gets more and more intense, your plays get more and more sophomoric.
Backup singer: Run it up the middle!
Announcer: The fourth quarter is always reserved as time for you to bite your fingernails and say a prayer that the other team's kicker will choke.
Backup singer: Where's Tiffin when you need him?
Announcer: You will point out that you have several injured players, blame your QB, and pass the buck to anyone but yourself in a feeble attempt to feed your pathetic ego.
Backup singer: Look at this Western Division Championship ring!
Announcer: Go on, ignore that you have only won half of your conference games and have tried to bolt for jobs at several other colleges.
Backup singer: I still love the helmet!
Announcer: So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Master of Mediocrity, and take solace in knowing that your National Championship remains under construction.
Backup singer: Mr. Over-conservative Egotistical Football Coooach.
2 comments:
Outstanding. I almost sang out loud while reading.
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