Faldon's Five Thoughts: Auburn Barn Burner

Five Thoughts

Faldon's Five Thoughts:

Five Thoughts

Faldon's Five Thoughts: Better late than never, right?

I was so worried about Matt's mental state after Little Rock finished 220nd in the list of Best Sports Cities, I forgot to post yesterday ...

Faldon's Five Thoughts

Faldon's Five Thoughts:

Things I thought about while fighting off "Black Sunday" flashbacks thanks to the Goodyear blimp.

Here.

Five Things: Game? What game!?!

Things I thought about after wondering how Harry King (aka The Dean) makes the drive from Little Rock to Fayetteville given the dearth of good country stations betwixt the two.

Faldon's weekly blog

Faldon's Five Thoughts

If it's Wednesday, I'm blogging ... per Matt's orders!

Five Things: Another Week, Another Cupcake

Seriously, the Blue Man Group?

Anyway, my weekly blog is here.

Five Things: Hooray Football!

Celebrate the official end of summer here.

And we're now less than 24 hours until the publication of Harry King's column on The Pool. I have read it and it made me laugh. Welcome aboard Harry.

Five Things: Mo' Money, mo' problems edition

Why, yes, I did write about the increased extortion ... I mean, donation ... structure announced by the Razorback Foundation.

http://swtimes.com/blogs/times_record_sports_blog/article_34cb6088-a58b-11df-befa-001cc4c002e0.html

Five Things (Preseason)

It's with a mixture of sadness and joy that I announce Five Things (aka Things I Think I Think) has found a new home.

Yes, it's going legit.

That said, I'm not done with Poolsville. Not by a longshot ... mainly because there some things I can get away here that I can't elsewhere. Like extreme levels of snark and the posting of somewhat questionable photos and videos and links about college football.

Anyway, I hope you'll forgive me for selling out to The Man. I know Matt hasn't been this crushed since he discovered wrasslin is fake.

What? Oh, Matt has a rebuttal to that last sentence? OK then ...

Five Things (Liberty Bowl edition)

1. When watching soccer, you might hear the phrase "against the run of play." That means one team is dominating the match, and suddenly the other team manages to score an unexpected goal.

Arkansas' first 10 points in the Liberty Bowl were against the run of play. Obviously, since interceptions played a role.

The Razorbacks were absolutely man-handled by ECU on the lines. Petrino's recruiting needs to focus on bigger, stronger players on the OL and DL.

2. Who knew Memphis could double for Hoth? I'm pretty sure I saw a Razorback fan slitting open a tauntaun to survive.

I was disappointed there was no snow. After all, bad weather + football = awesome. (See Sunday's Colts at Bills game for proof.) How cold was it? So cold it cracked my Jeep's windshield.

3. Was anybody else skeeved by Eddie Money singing "Two Tickets to Paradise" to preteen cheerleaders? I kept waiting for Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC to walk onto stage. And did anybody else laugh at this exchange ...

Money: I just love this country!
Ronnie Spector : Me too!

4. Ryan Mallett needs a Crash Davis to teach him cliches for interviews.

Following the game, he behaved like a petulant brat during the press conference. First, he gave a condescending "You'll be the first to know" answer when asked about the NFL. Then, when Petrino was being asked about the offense's troubles against the ECU defense, Mallett rolled his eyes, shook his head, rolled his eyes again and then fixed a "go to hell" look on the reporter asking the question.

5. Is I-40 in West Memphis ever not under construction?

Thanks to d-bag drivers who rushed down the left lane, right up the barrels, before merging. Traffic was stopped and crawling before the dog track. Merge early and everybody can keep moving. Merge late, and you screw it up for everybody.

Then somewhere east of Little Rock, traffic stopped again. This time, rumor has it, for a wreck on the White River bridge near Devall's Bluff. I jumped off I-40 at Hazen and took backroads to North Little Rock. More scenic, but thanks to the delays it turned into a 6-hour drive to Fort Smith.

Next time, I have to remember to leave Memphis the same time as every other fan who lives west of the Mississippi River.

Five Things

1. So Texas manages to squeak into the BCS Mythical* National Championship game thanks to a video review of an incomplete pass.

While the call of putting 1 second on the clock was correct, it seemed like a strange thing to be reviewed. After all, if the exact same play had happened with 14:06 remaining in the fourth quarter there wouldn't have been a review to see if the clock should be at 14:01 or 14:00. If you won't review it in the first minute of the fourth quarter, should you be reviewing it in the last minute?

Sadly, the melange of computer rankings, power polls, human voters (except for the SportsJournalists.com poll) and whatnot in the BCS formula didn't penalize Texas for a sub-par Big 12 title game. Sure, Texas vs. Bama will be more entertaining than Bama vs. one of the undefeated mid-majors. But as an advocate of BCS anarchy, that's what I wanted to see.

Speaking of bowl anarchy, how about Rep. Joe Barton down in Texas? The wacky A&M alum is pushing Congress to meddle in the BCS. Yesterday, he got a House subcommittee to approve legislation that would ban the promotion of a "national championship game" unless it came via a playoff system.

You go, Joe. You go.

* - Mythical because there is no playoff system.

2. You really think your favorite team is excited about playing in the Beef O'Brady Bowl or spending New Year's Eve under lock-and-key in a hotel room or Christmas in Shreveport? No, of course not.

But they do love the freebies. From PS3s to iPods to HDTVs to more Nike gear than Elin Woods has shredded in the past two weeks, players make out like bandits when they go to a bowl game.

http://www.sportsbusinessjournal.com/article/64318

3. A few years ago, I had a Heisman vote. About the time I began blasting Houston Nutt with both barrels, I lost that honor. The state representative who doles out the ballots said it was because "I never see you in the press box at Arkansas games." He then promptly gave my old ballot to the Voice of the UCA Bears. At the time, UCA was a Division II athletic program. But I guess the radio guy was seeing tons more Heisman-worthy athletes in Estes Stadium than I was via CBS, ABC, ESPN and whatever other channels DirecTV brings into my house.

No, I'm not bitter. Why do you think that?

Anyway ...

Ndamukong (which means "House of Spears") Suh, the Nebraska DL, should win this year's Heisman. But he won't. In part, because Nebraska did a poor job promoting his candidacy. He's also hurt by few appearances on national TV. Also, as a defensive player, his on-field worth is difficult to quantify. It's easy for a voter to look at the stats produced by a QB, RB or even WR and see how that impacted the game. For a defensive player to win the Heisman, we'll need a Moneyball-esque revolution in college football. A stathead needs to develop formulas like baseball's PECOTA, VORP and DIPS for football.

Toby Gerhart, the Stanford RB, is also hurt by lack of exposure. Stanford played several night games, meaning 10 p.m. kickoffs on the East Coast. Despite piling up 26 TDs and 1,786 yards, Stanford is 8-4. That's another strike against him.

Mark Ingram, the Alabama RB, is the current leader at http://www.StiffArmTrophy.com, a site which tracks announced votes (like the Otis Kirk vote for Ryan Mallett ). He benefits from several nationally televised games and the SEC aura. He's get votes simply because so many have the mindset (rightfully so) that the SEC is the best football conference in the nation.

Honestly, I'm not sure who'll win. If I'd not been robbed of my ballot by cronyism among the IRPC, I'd vote Suh, Gerhart, Ingram.

4. Recurring Items

The SportsJournalists.com Top 25 is here.

Awful Announcing: Your Full 2009-2010 College Football Bowl Announcing Schedule

5. M8B Prediction

Will Navy (-14) cover against Army?



(Views expressed by the Magic 8 Ball do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog, the blog owner nor this post's author. Advice from the M8B is for entertainment purposes only and not for actual wagering ... even though the Magic 8 Ball is 10-6 this season.)

Five Things

1. And so Arkansas, it seems, will be at the Liberty Bowl on Jan. 2.

This is undoubtedly causing great wailing and gnashing of teeth among Razorback fans. Arkies think the Hogs have a birthright to appear in the Cotton Bowl every season the team is bowl eligible. Thanks to the lingering SWC fixation (and sheer laziness), I'm pretty sure there are a lot of Arkansas fans who'd prefer the Cotton to the Orange, Sugar or Fiesta Bowls.

Part of this year's hoopla about the Cotton Bowl is not being played at the Cotton Bowl, but at Jerray! Jones' boondoggle of a stadium in Arlington. But I wonder if the Arkansas-A&M series, which will be played at Cowboys Stadium for 10 seasons, will damper the interest in going to the Cotton. Not this year, obviously, but after playing in the $1 billion stadium five consecutive seasons, the new should wear off for Arkansas fans.

While Dallas trumps Memphis in most things (Blues and BBQ being Memphis' strong points), there is a major drawback to the Cotton - it is broadcast on FOX.

While FOX does a good job with the NFL, it has done a horrible job with the Cotton. As the only college football game the network does all year, it's an afterthought. That's proven by FOX using Pat Summerall as the play-by-play man. At 79, he's just a shell of his former great self in the TV booth.

2. LSU Rocks

Last Saturday was my first game at Death Valley. The place should be renamed The Rock House, because the stadium felt like a rock concert.

At Razorback home games, during a time out you are bombarded with commercials on the jumbotron and over the PA system. At Tiger Stadium, they let the bands play and then crank up some music on the PA system right as the teams return to the field to fire up the crowd.

During the game, I heard Garth Brooks (Baton Rouge, which fired up the crowd), House of Pain (Jump Around, which oddly didn't cause a jumping frenzy in the student section), U2 (Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, during a video review on a challenge), Springsteen (Born To Run, during the time out following the punt return TD) and Michael Jackson (which, oddly, got the crowd more fired up than Jump Around). In the OT between possessions, they played some rap song that got the crowd dancing. DANCING!

When the game is at Arkansas, we're subjected to the (insert sponsor here) "Tailgater of the Day" and (insert Sponsor Here) "Can you name the Hog?" and (insert sponsor here) "Women's Sports Update." At LSU, that was done at halftime, not during crucial stretches where you needed the fans to be into the game.

Also, the LSU's Golden Band from Tigerland kicked the collective tails of the Marching Razorbacks. The LSU band played some Dave Matthews Band, Nirvana and Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline. When's the last time the Arkansas band broke out anything other than something from the 1970s?

Here is what happened during OT in the game in 2007. The LSU band played "Talkin' Out Da Side Of Ya Neck" by Dem Franchise Boyz. (Full discolsure: Being a 41-year-old white male, I had to Google that information.)



Arkansas AD Jeff Long was, naturally, at the game. I doubt he took notice, other than to think "Man, LSU should really be monetizing their time outs."

3. Joe Adams

I was standing on the 10-yard-line on the Arkansas bench when this happened. I can't describe the sound this collision made. Todd Curtis of ARSN or ISP or whatever was standing next to me. He thought Adams was dead.



Who doesn't like Pete Carroll?



4. Recurring Items

The SJ Top 25 is here.

Announcing teams are ready yet. Sorry. But with only a handful of games, it's probably not that important.

5. M8B Prediction

Will Florida beat Alabama in the SEC title game?



(Views expressed by the Magic 8 Ball do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog, the blog owner nor this post's author. Advice from the M8B is for entertainment purposes only and not for actual wagering ... especially since the Magic 8 Ball is 9-6 this season.)

Better late than never - Five Things

1. I'd like to apologize to Houston Nutt. As one of the charter members of the posse wanting him out of Fayetteville, I was convinced he was completely over his head in the SEC. At one point, I even said he was the "worst coach in the SEC when it comes late-game management."

Les Miles proved me wrong.

You've all seen it by now. Trailing OM by 2, LSU hits a Hail Mary into easy field goal range. Miles, however, doesn't have the kicking team ready. He actually signals for a spike to stop the clock. But with only 1 second on the clock, it was obvious that was a losing decision before the QB even took the snap.

So congrats, Nutt. You're now the second-worst coach in the SEC when it comes to late-game management.

1A. Are you on Twitter? Are you following InsidetheBCS? You should be because it is pure hilarity, kind of like Les Miles in the final seconds of the Ole Miss game.

The Twitter feed is the brainchild of the new PR agency the BCS has hired. A PR agency headed by Ari Fleischer, the former press secretary for George W. Bush. Yes, that's right. Fleischer has now been a spin doctor for two incompetent organizations.

The PR firm also launched PlayoffProblem.com to spin against people who favor a CFB playoff system.

Obviously, this means war for Project Playoffs.


2. Last Saturday, I took a day off. With Arkansas playing in that dump of a stadium in Little Rock at an unTebowly hour, I elected to head to my in-laws for an early Thanksgiving. Since they live in NEA, we trekked through Central Arkansas en route. Stopping at Chik-Fil-A in Conway (which is, without a doubt, the busiest restaurant in Conway and perhaps the nation), I was struck by the number of people wearing Arkansas Razorback gear. It was odd.

No, people wearing Hog stuff isn't odd, per se, in Conway. What was odd was that the game was on TV and these people weren't watching ... yet felt compelled to sport the logos. Arkansas fans aren't the only ones who do this. I've seen countless other fans doing the same thing. But if you're a fan, shouldn't you — I don't know — be watching the game!?!

3. As if the Oregon uniforms weren't bad enough

I Smell Roses @ Yahoo!7 Video

4. Recurring Items

The SportsJournalists.com Top 25 is here.

Awful Announcing: Your Week Thirteen College Football Announcing Schedule


5. M8B Prediction

Will Arkansas (+3.5) cover the spread against LSU?



(Views expressed by the Magic 8 Ball do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog, the blog owner nor this post's author. Advice from the M8B is for entertainment purposes only and not for actual wagering ... especially since the Magic 8 Ball is 8-6 this season.)

Five Things

1. And the Arkansas RazorBlah Streak continues this week.

After losing to Ole Miss, then playing the softest cupcake of the season, then an 11:21 a.m. kickoff (where both teams and the fans were listless through the first half), we come to the Troy game. Which falls on opening day of deer season (modern firearm) in Arkansas.

Yes, yes, Troy is 7-2, 6-0 in the Sunbelt. The Trojans aren't as cupcake-y as first thought when the schedule was released. But let's be honest here, the only Sunbelt team that would generate some buzz among Arkansas fans is based in Jonesboro, not Troy, Ala.

So if you attend the game or manage to find CSS on your cable or satellite provider, look for empty seats. More empties than in the South Carolina game. (Over/under on number of blaze orange caps and/or jackets in the stands? 57 1/2.)

Next week doesn't look much better. Yes, the game is in War Memorial Stadium against an SEC team. But it's another 11:21 kickoff. And it's opening day of duck season. Oh yeah, it's also against Mississippi State (4-5, 2-3). Given that, nobody can be blamed for choosing a Haydel Game Call over a Hog call.

2. Dear SEC, Please Upgrade To HD

In the wake of yet another SEC officiating blunder the replay officials in the booth of SEC games are watching low-definition TVs. That's right, you sitting at home with your 42-inch HD TV have a better view of plays under review than the guy actually doing the reviewing. Heck, there are people with HD TVs set up at their tailgates. Yet the SEC doesn't have HD for the replay official!?!

Even more troubling, this is an area the SEC could be monetizing. Given the craven chase for every dollar, it's inexcusable Mike Slive hasn't contracted with some manufacturer to be "The Official HD TV of the SEC." If nothing else get the local Best Buy to hook one up and slap a Golden Flake sticker on it.

3. You Can't Say That On TV (NSFW audio!)



4. Recurring Items

SportsJournalists.com Top 25 link is here.

AwfulAnnouncing provides college football announcers' schedules here and the Pammy Award update hasn't been posted yet.

5. M8B Prediction

Will Arkansas (-14.5) cover against Troy?



(Views expressed by the Magic 8 Ball do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog, the blog owner nor this post's author. Advice from the M8B is for entertainment purposes only and not for actual wagering ... especially since the Magic 8 Ball is 6-6 this season.)

Five Things

1. Yet another "Most Important Game in the Razorbacks Season" is upon us.

But does anybody care?

Following that cupcake last Saturday (bonus points if you stayed for the entire game or even watched the entire game) and combined with the 11:21 a.m. kickoff, there is little to no buzz for this game. Perhaps it'll pick up by breakfast on Saturday. We'll see.

This is actually a dangerous time for the UA when it comes to losing the fans.

Next week, Troy plays at Fayetteville. As if playing a Sunbelt team in November isn't bad enough, Nov. 14 is the opening day of deer season (modern firearm) in Arkansas. So tens of thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) will be wearing blaze orange and camo that day instead of cardinal and cream or red and white or whatever it is you call Razorback colors.

Arkansas better win this Saturday or whatever enthusiasm for this football season will be on the verge of slipping away entirely.

2. The South Will Rise Again

Over at Ole Miss, Houston Nutt continues to be the luckiest coach in the SEC. Instead of fans discussing how the Rebels went from top 5 to unranked, from manhandling Arkansas to getting whipped by Auburn, they're focused on this foofaraw about "From Dixie with love" (a bastardized version of "American Trilogy" by Elvis) and how students yell "The South Will Rise Again!" during it.

Background here ... http://www.ajc.com/sports/uga/ole-miss-may-drop-184268.html

Shepard Smith, Fox News and Ole Miss alum, weighs in ... http://sharing.theflip.com/session/05fa6bb33a230502020f4f90ef349de5/video/7100423

The defenders of such practices always trot out the "It's celebrating our heritage, not hate." Fine. Then to celebrate my heritage at Saturday's Arkansas game, I'll be ambushing people traveling on I-540 and scalping the victims. It's about heritage, not hate. The Cherokees Will Rise Again!

3. Hognoxious has nothing on this Mountain West fan ...



4. Recurring Items

SportsJournalists.com Top 25 link is here.

AwfulAnnouncing provides college football announcers' schedules here and the Pammy Award update is here.

5. M8B Prediction

Will Arkansas (-7) cover the spread against South Carolina?



(Views expressed by the Magic 8 Ball do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog, the blog owner nor this post's author. Advice from the M8B is for entertainment purposes only and not for actual wagering ... especially since the Magic 8 Ball is 6-5 this season.)

Five Things

1. Last Saturday's Arkansas game was a debacle. No doubt about it.

Having used their last emotional chip against Florida, the Arkansas players were spent. And, unlike the vast majority of Razorback fans, the players don't have a burning hatred of Houston Nutt from which they could have built up some anger before kickoff.

The game exposed what might be a flaw in Bobby Petrino. After years of "Rah-rah! Who cares about Xs-and-Os!?!" coaching by Nutt, Arkansas has swung the other direction. And, perhaps, too far the other direction. Petrino doesn't strike me as a great motivational speaker. He's much more cerebral than Nutt (so is my 10-month old, so it's not saying a lot). But there are times when you've got to tap into the rah-rah speechifying when you're a college coach.

Perhaps I'm wrong about Petrino and he can deliver Knute Rockne-esque halftime speeches. But from what we've seen, do you think he can?

2. Another WTF? High School Football Play



More on the play here.

3. Kids, remember, tattoos are sort of permanent

This is Josh Haden ...


As you can see by his chest tattoo, Haden is a Boston College fan. It makes sense, given he's a running back who's carried 58 times for 213 yards and one TD. Yet despite his inked devotion to the Eagles, Haden has announced he's transferring at the end of the season.

Remember, tattoos are permanent. It's something Peppas remembers every day when he sees the DEVO tattoo he got across the knuckles on his right hand. (No truth to the rumor WHAM is tattooed on his left knuckles.)

4. Recurring Items

SportsJournalists.com Top 25 link is here.

AwfulAnnouncing provides college football announcers' schedules here and the Pammy Award update is here.

5. M8B Prediction

Since Arkansas is playing one of the worst NAIA ... what? ... Eastern Michigan is a Division I team? Really!?! Man, it's times like this I wish the NCAA employed the promotion/relegation structure of European soccer. "Nope, sorry Eastern Michigan, you're being sent down to Division II. Congrats Minnesota Duluth, you're now in the Mid-American Conference and playing Arkansas on Halloween."

Anyway, since Arkansas is playing a creme-filled, icing-crusted cupcake we'll use the Magic 8 Ball on another in-state team.

Will Arkansas State (+4) cover the spread against Louisville?



Well, it seems even the Magic 8 Ball doesn't care about ASU. Just like most Arkansans.

(Views expressed by the Magic 8 Ball do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog, the blog owner nor this post's author. Advice from the M8B is for entertainment purposes only and not for actual wagering ... especially since the Magic 8 Ball is 6-5 this season.)

Five Things

1. Another week, another "MOST PIVOTAL GAME IN THE RAZORBACKS SEASON!" is upon us.

After coming up short (well, actually wide left) against Florida in The Swamp, Arkansas gets Houston Nutt on the rebound. While some Arkansas fans are convinced the Razorbacks will take out their frustrations over the refs on the Rebels, I'm concerned about an emotional letdown.

Arkansas has a prime opportunity to light a fire under Nutt in Oxford. Paul Finebaum declared Nutt has done the worst coaching job in the SEC in the first half of the season. A loss to Arkansas would be a match to the kindling.

As usual, Nutt has feasted on Paula Deen-worthy cupcakes while struggling against the main courses in the SEC. Example: Ole Miss has scored 146 points while giving up only 33 against nonconference teams. But the Rebels have scored a measly 35 while allowing 45 against the SEC. The only team to have scored fewer points than Ole Miss? Vandy.

That's Nutt for you. He's the type of coach who can turn a Top 10 preseason team into Vandy. He's good at taking a downtrodden team and lifting it out of the muck. He's a good underdog, but lousy as the favorite.

2. The Golden Gopher does not fear the Flying Spaghetti Monster



3. Really Aggie fans!?!



4. Recurring Items

SportsJournalists.com Top 25 link is here.

AwfulAnnouncing provides college football announcers' schedules here and the Pammy Award update is here.


5. M8B Prediction

Will Arkansas (+5) cover against Ole Miss?


Will TV cameras catch Houston Nutt chewing his fingers or some other dorkalicious behavior?


(Views expressed by the Magic 8 Ball do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog, the blog owner nor this post's author. Advice from the M8B is for entertainment purposes only and not for actual wagering ... especially since the Magic 8 Ball is 5-4 this season.)

Five Things

1. Hey, looky there, it's yet another "Most Pivotal Game of the Season!" for Arkansas.

Instead of being happy with a blowout/hang on to win in the second half victory against Auburn, Razorback fans have begun to think Ryan Mallett might lead them to a win against Tim Tebow at The Swamp. Oh, sure, Vegas has the line at 25 (TWENTY FIVE!) but that's no matter to the Arkansas loyalists. Neither is a suspect defense (Auburn shot itself in the foot repeatedly in the first half).

Admittedly, believing in your team despite the odds is part of being a fan. Faith comes into play in sports as much as it does in religion. I just hope nobody is putting the mortgage payment on Arkansas to win. The lottery has better odds.

2. Setting The Odds

Oakland Raider head coach Tom Cable started a trend this season by breaking the jaw of an assistant coach. Like most football trends, this one started in the NFL and trickled down to the NCAA, where New Mexico coach Mike Locksley slugged an assistant. So who will be the next coach to go Woody Hayes on one of his own assistants? Let's check the odds!

3/1 - Bobby Bowden: Don't let the folksy good-humor fool you. Papa Bowden is a straight-up gangsta. It's how he managed to hold his own against Miami and Florida for so long. (Odds are 5/4 he punches a pencil-neck geek from the administration.)

5/1 - Joe Paterno: The Grandpa Simpson of NCAA coaches might deck the next assistant who mentions Twitter, text messages, cell phones or cable TV.

7/1 - Charlie Weis: If the blood sugar of The Trom Traenálaí gets wonky, Irish assistants better keep their head on a swivel.

10/1 - Bobby Petrino: I'm looking at you Willy Robinson, with your fancy mustache and not-so-fancy defense. And Paul Petrino, don't think your brother has forgiven you for mom always liking you best.

15/1 - Urban Meyer: At some point, a Florida assistant is going to say something slightly negative about St. Timothy of Gainesville. When it happens, Urban will unleash his fury.


3. Another week, another crazy high school football finish



Still the best for the 2009 season ...




4. Recurring Items

The SportsJournalists.com Top 25 is here.

Your Week 7 announcing schedule is provided by AwfulAnnouncing.com here while the Pammy Award update is here.

5. M8B Prediction

Will Arkansas (-25) cover the spread at Florida?



(Views expressed by the Magic 8 Ball do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog, the blog owner nor this post's author. Advice from the M8B is for entertainment purposes only and not for actual wagering ... especially since the Magic 8 Ball is 4-4 this season.)

Five Things

1. And now, we reach "The Most Pivotal Game in the Razorbacks' Season!" Again. For the second or third time, depending on who is talking.

We know Fort Smith's coaching wunderkind Gus Malzahn (aka the man done wrong by Broyles and Nutt) has turned the Auburn WarPlainsEagles' offense around in less than a season. Yes, we know Fort Smith's Kodi Burns has become an Auburn legend for his speech about team unity after being moved to WR and Wildcat QB before the season started.

But that takes a backseat to the real news about this game - it's starting at 11 a.m.

Not 11:30 a.m. as SEC fans grew used to thanks to the Jefferson Pilot games with the Three Daves. Thirty minutes earlier than that.

When the SEC's big TV deal with ESPN was announced Hog fans (and other SEC types) celebrated. They dreamed of evening games on ESPN or ESPN2. Nobody realized some weeks the game would kickoff before some restaurants quit serving breakfast.

Even worse than the kickoff time itself might be the slugs assigned by ESPN to work the game. Dave Pasch, Bob Griese and Chris Spielman are so far down the ESPN roster in quality, viewers will be begging for Dave, Dave and Dave to storm the booth.

2. Dez Bryant ruled ineligible? Well, time to break out this old chestnut.



3. Miami plays Florida A&M this week in a game that will be more notable for what happens AFTER the final whistle. The FAMU band will play at halftime and postgame.

“I’ll be watching it,” said Miami head coach Randy Shannon, who helped hatch the idea for the after-game festivities. “It’s very rare that you get an opportunity to play a team like Florida A&M. And then you get a band to perform that everybody knows about. After enjoying a game and coaching in a game like that, you can’t miss out on enjoying that band.”



4. Recurring Items

The SportsJournalists.com Top 25 is here.

AwfulAnnouncing.com provides us with the announcers' schedule here and the Pammy Awards for idiotic TV announcing comments here.

5. M8B Prediction

Will Arkansas (+3) beat Auburn?



(Views expressed by the Magic 8 Ball do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog, the blog owner nor this post's author. Advice from the M8B is for entertainment purposes only and not for actual wagering ... even though the Magic 8 Ball is 4-3 this season.)