From the Bench

Plenty of Razorback-Related Entertainment on Twitter

Robert Shields

I was recently ashamed to find out Wally Hall had a Twitter account before me. Talk about being behind the times. So I went ahead and took the plunge, and the evidence can be found @rsfromthebench.

There has always been a little bit of stalker mentality in me as it’s derived from my overall paranoia. As I always say, “It’s not paranoia if they’re out to get you.” Yet even though I struggle against embracing technology, I love Twitter. It’s kind of like TMZ on crack, but in a bad way as people intentionally show their weaknesses.

My traditional Line of Communication Hierarchy (LOCH) is face to face, Big Phone, cell phone or little phone (as in, I will call you back on the Big Phone), email, Facebook, Twitter, then voice mail, and I never leave voice mail because nobody listens to it so I’m back to square one in face to face. I have found, though, that many use Twitter as their number one choice, which is amazing since it’s all public.

I believe the younger generation loves Twitter mainly because all of today’s youth thinks they are starring in their own reality show. Twitter provides them that platform to play act as a star. I have come to find out that for most on Twitter what they really want is to be “following” about five people, but they want a million “following” them and their daily tragedies.

Twitter makes it quite clear on its privacy policy that “What you say on Twitter may be viewed all around the world instantly.” It also makes clear that “information that you provide to us is information that you are asking us to make public.”

Being the economist (the dismal science), I track human misery so I am the exact opposite. I “follow” almost every name that I see. I “follow” a million and nobody follows me. That’s cool.

Although, I was really excited when I got the message Penguin Books was following me only to find out they followed everyone. I was also discouraged when Tom Hanks would not follow me. My claim-to-fame-follower is Virginia Heffernan of the New York Times. I have come to find out everyone has that one follower they are proud of that follows them. The mysterious Rey Pygsterio tells me his is John Daly.

Plus, who would want to follow me anyway when I make a lame tweet like “Hey, Greg Rennick is on Wheel of Fortune and made a great Hog Call.” Good for Greg, “supa weak for me.”

So this is a sports column, and I typically follow sports people, and as I always do this time of year, you get a list. My top five favorites in reverse order to follow on Twitter that is Razorback related:

5) Zach Hocker ––He actually tweets very little, which is very smart. I follow him because he is the kicker. And traditionally, the kicker is the biggest basket case on any football team because of all the pressure put on them by coaches to win games in impossible situations. They always get the blame even if the center or holder blows it. He seems calm now and was the iceman through last season. He only has made nine tweets and I have almost that many following me. I figure if he tweets something it’s important, or it will be a major meltdown when the pressure gets to him.

4) Ronnie Wingo Jr. –– Mostly because I like to see the bitches that follow him. I use that crude term because it appears to be the slang these young women like to use to refer to their gender. This is no reflection on Mr. Wingo, at least as I never saw where he referred to them with that term. Still, I had to laugh when one young lady’s tag line was “10 steps ahead of these bitches.”

3) Marshawn Powell –– I follow him mostly because the man speaks his mind. He let his fans know when he was going into surgery. I am glad that it all went well and hopefully he will be on the court before summer is out. He also let his fans know when he was bored that “Fayetteville is supa weak.” (I assume he meant at that moment, but still to be used in future GSD piece.) My only suggestion to him is that if you’re really bored then go shoot some free throws because it’s what Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, or Larry Bird would have done even while injured. He’s not alone, though, other Razorback players say they are bored. This is not surprising since they are not expected to drink or have fun only to play the game for their fans. They are held to a higher standard than other students.

2) Jerry Franklin –– We’ll its Jerry Franklin. He is a very emotional leader on the team, the QB of the defense. He sets the tone. He’s also sometimes funny on his tweets such as, “what can you really do with 50cent.” It’s OK if you don’t get the reference, but it does remind me of the SNL skit on the plane if the seat is fifty cents or Ludicris. Lastly, he actually tells me things that I might really need to know such as if a place is having a sale on wings. Believe it or not that is important to me.

1) DJ Williams –– He is well-loved by everyone. There is no way that I am not putting him at number one. He leads by example. Obviously, others in the media also love him and tweet back to him. He’s a great tweeter. As a matter of fact, if I don’t see a tweet from him over a long period of time, I start to get concerned. He loves his fans and asks them questions. If you see other stars’ tweets, they can be more dictating. So, he’s refreshing. And currently he is trying to hook up with Jordana Brewster via Twitter. It seems to be working because she recently responded to him. Go DJ!

Don’t forget to follow my lameness on twitter @rsfromthebench.



Send your list of favorites to follow and followers to fromthebench@yahoo.com . Or, of course, hit me up on Twitter.

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